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“Didn’t Want to Be Alive”: WNBA Star Brittney Griner, Who Is Detained in Russia, Struggled With Same Feeling as Michael Phelps During a Rough Patch of Life

Published 07/31/2022, 11:00 AM EDT

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WNBA star Brittney Griner has been in Russian custody since being detained in February at the Sheremetyevo International Airport. The Russian Federal Customs Service allegedly found vape cartridges containing hashish oil in the Phoenix Mercury star’s luggage.

If convicted, Griner could face up to 10 years in prison. The United States has launched efforts to bring her back and negotiations are in full swing. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first roadblock Griner has faced in her life.

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Brittney Griner had a rough childhood, bullied by her peers

WNBA sensation Brittney Griner stood out physically from her peers from a very young age. Her different physique made her a target for bullying, which started in sixth grade. She was much bigger than her peers, already six feet tall by the time she entered ninth grade.

“Always bigger, deeper voice, flat chest, big feet,” Griner told ESPN. She was targeted in school and went through traumatizing experiences. “I remember — I forgot the girl’s name — but she came up to me and she was with her friend. She’s like, ‘Look, she’s not a girl.’” 

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“She literally grabbed my chest and patted me like that,” she said, touching her chest, “and was like, ‘Look, no ti***.’” The three-time All-American narrated, “I was so embarrassed.” The strain of her substandard social life proved to be a lot for Griner. She had difficulty coping with her emotions and turned to self-harm.

Brittney Griner Who Might Face 10 Years of Jail, Once Sympathized With Simone Biles During Her Worst Time: “Wanting to Represent Your Country..”

She shared, “Definitely had suicidal thoughts. I cut myself a couple of times. Just little slits I had on my wrists, little slits that I had on my arms that are covered up now with tattoos.” It didn’t help that Griner began isolating herself. “I didn’t deal with it too well. I just did a lot of writing, like, in my room. A lot of crying, a lot of yelling to myself. I didn’t talk to my parents about anything, I didn’t talk to anybody.”

Like Griner, swimming GOAT Michael Phelps also struggled with suicidal ideation 

The Olympic swimming legend, Michael Phelps, grew up in a single-parent household as his parents divorced when he was 9 years old. The absence of his father had a severe impact on the young swimmer, and it took years before he started working on his issues. Phelps struggled with depression throughout his swimming career. 

Despite his resounding success in the pool, his mental health deteriorated. “After every Olympics, I think I fell into a major state of depression,” he shared during a mental health conference. In 2014, Phelps got arrested for a DUI that could have proved fatal for the swimmer. It was a particularly dark phase in the swimmer’s life. “I didn’t want to be in the sport anymore,” he said. “I didn’t want to be alive.” 

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He explained that, at his lowest points, he has often entertained such a train of thought. “You do contemplate suicide,” he said. But he strongly believes that mental health struggles shouldn’t diminish a person’s worth. “We’re supposed to be this big, macho, physically strong human beings, but this is not a weakness,” he said. “We are seeking and reaching for help.” 

Watch this story – Most Famous Endorsement Deals of Michael Phelps

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When Brittney Griner reached ninth grade, her school’s basketball team recruited her. It gave her an outlet through which she could better regulate her emotions. For Phelps, the 45-day-stint in rehab he did after his arrest helped him understand himself and the value of therapy.

It takes a lot of work to get on the path to recovery, but with time, things can get better.

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Written by:

Mansi Jain

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Mansi Jain is a US Sports author for EssentiallySports. She has a Bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Mass Communication from the University of Delhi and has also previously interned for HT Media. She is always one mention of Yuzuru Hanyu away from delivering an hour-long speech about the athlete's legacy.
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