It started like any other segment—jokes flying, caffeine-fueled energy crackling through the studio. But when the topic shifted to the Colorado Rockies, things took a sharp turn. Pat McAfee leaned in, a smirk forming, and suddenly, the conversation wasn’t about potential or upside. It was about failure—expensive, head-scratching, oddly consistent failure.

The Rockies weren’t just mentioned in passing. They became the punchline. McAfee and his panel dove in, ripping apart the franchise’s puzzling approach to spending with surgical precision and locker-room energy. And while the jokes flew fast, the message landed even faster: The Rockies don’t lack money—they lack direction. The result? A baseball team that’s become more infamous than competitive, even as fans keep showing up in droves to Coors Field.

“They (Colorado Rockies) spend money,” one insider on the show deadpanned, “they just don’t spend it well.“ That line hit like a fastball to the ribs because it’s true. Whether it’s the Nolan Arenado debacle, where Colorado paid another team to take their superstar, or the Kris Bryant deal that’s yielded more rehab assignments than highlights, this is a franchise that consistently and spectacularly misfires.

Let’s break it down.

The Arenado trade wasn’t just bad—it was legendary in its absurdity. Paying the Cardinals $50 million to take your franchise cornerstone is something most GMs couldn’t survive. Then came the Bryant signing, a $182 million bet on a declining veteran who’s rarely been healthy and hardly game-changing. It’s not that the Rockies aren’t trying—it’s that they’re trying without a plan.

Still, there’s an almost tragic loyalty among Rockies fans. Coors Field remains packed, a beautiful ballpark filled with hopeful energy, despite a product that’s anything but positive. And maybe that’s the most frustrating part—it’s not apathy in Colorado. It’s mismanagement.

The McAfee Show may have been joking, but the punchlines carried weight. Because when national media laughs this hard at your franchise, it’s not just a roast. It’s a warning flare.

Rockies blinded by the big market myth

Rockies owner Dick Monfort has long played the small-market sympathy card, painting his franchise as a financial underdog trying to survive in a world dominated by deep-pocketed bullies like the Dodgers and Yankees. But let’s not kid ourselves—that narrative is wearing thin.

This isn’t about market size anymore. It’s about making smart, intentional decisions with the resources you do have. And the Rockies? They’ve proven time and again they can spend, just not wisely.

The Pat McAfee Show nailed it without even trying to be diplomatic. Their message was clear: Stop blaming the big boys for your own front office chaos. “Blaming the Dodgers,” one analyst quipped, “is like blaming a steakhouse because your microwave dinner sucks.” It’s a brutal analogy, but it hits.

The Rockies aren’t broke. They’ve spent close to half a billion dollars on a handful of players since 2019. But instead of building smart, sustainable depth or developing talent, they’ve poured cash into short-sighted deals that backfire almost instantly.

The big-market boogeyman is an easy target, but it’s not the real villain in Colorado’s story. Poor planning, front office turnover, and inconsistent player development are doing far more damage than the Dodgers ever could. At this point, it’s not about the money. It’s about the mirror.