The Vicious Earnhardt Cycle That Tarnished Dale Jr.’s Relationship With His Father

“He was like Elvis, you know, with the fandom. He was beyond this world to a lot of people.” Dale Earnhardt Jr. recently reflected on the Superman status of his father in racing circles. That comes with good reason, too. The late Dale Earnhardt clinched 7 NASCAR Cup Series championships and 76 race victories. His ‘Intimidating’ style of racing created a cult image that fans worshipped. However, there was also an unpleasant edge to him that reflected a family cycle.

Long before Dale Sr. rose to the pinnacle of glory, the Earnhardt name was already famous. That was because of his father, Ralph Earnhardt, who was a regular sportsman racer in the 1960s. However, the patriarch could not support his son for long – the impact of that spread to his grandson, Dale Jr.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. opens up about his father’s rough side

Ty Norris, one of the earliest executives of Dale Earnhardt Inc., recalled a shocking incident recently. Many years ago, Dale Sr and Norris had just completed a press conference in New York City. They walked in on Dale Earnhardt Jr. fast asleep on a couch, and his father could not stand it. Dale Sr berated his son right in front of Norris, who did not even know Junior then. He let out a gasp while remembering his reaction: “Man, that’s harsh.” Dale Jr. agreed about his father with a chuckle, “He was an a–hole.” The reason why Junior can accept this with a smile now is his knowledge of his family history. His grandfather, Ralph Earnhardt, gave little to no guidance to Dale Sr. After collecting many wins (he won 32 times in 1956), he passed away in 1973 at only 45 years of age while working on his race car, and Dale Sr. was just 22 years old at the time.

That was before Dale Earnhardt could display his own prowess, as he debuted in the NASCAR Cup Series in 1979 and clinched his first championship a year later. In a recent interview with TODAY, Dale Jr. highlighted that losing his grandfather made a profound impact on his father. Junior said, “I think that dad… he tells this story in his own words. He was really, really angry when he lost his dad at a young age. He lost his father before his career took off. And the probability of him becoming the success story he was was really, really low.” 

This temper is evident in multiple stories that Junior has told on the Dale Jr. Download about how harsh his father was, and how, as a kid, he strived for his approval. It was only after Junior realized what his dad had gone through, he came to terms with their relationship. Speaking to Graham Bensinger in 2023, Junior said, “Dad and I didn’t have a relationship until I started driving.” However, as we all know, Sr. passed away in 2001, just one year after Dale Jr. made his full-time Cup Series debut. However, Junior never holds his dad’s behavior against him.

The impact of Ralph Earnhardt’s death spread to later generations, as Dale Sr treated his children roughly at times. Even his relationship with Kelley Earnhardt-Miller was hot-and-cold right until his own death in 2001. So Dale Jr continued that while his father grew more resilient and tough, he also grew more detached from his family. He said, “That’s what I think is the most amazing thing to me about dad is that he did all these things against the odds. And I’m most impressed and proud of that. But it also made him very rugged, very tough, and difficult to connect with on a personal level. And not many people got to do that with him because his exterior was just so rigid and so rugged.”

Behind the dazzling glory of the Earnhardts that fans are used to lies a more human, realistic story of difficulties. Yet Dale Earnhardt Sr helped his son in other ways, as he did not put much pressure on his career.

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The priorities were different than what you think

Being the son of a motorsports legend can be challenging. The constant spotlight, the pressure to carry the baton, and jarring criticism can be difficult to manage. Dale Earnhardt Jr faced the same problems, but they stemmed from the media and not his father. Back in 2017, Dale Jr. was preparing to retire from a full-time Cup Series career. But at a news conference in Pocono Raceway, a media person threw an unexpected question at him.

They were curious to know about the driver’s memory of the 2000 race when Jeremy Mayfield did a bump-and-run on Dale Sr. to win. Almost before the journalists finished putting forward the question, Dale Jr. answered, “We didn’t talk about it.” Then he went on to reveal a lesser-known aspect of his and Dale Sr’s relationship. You would expect the legendary Earnhardts to eat, sleep, and drink racing all day long, right?

Dale Sr. set his priorities straight with his son. Dale Jr. said, “Me and my dad never talked racing. We just didn’t. I wouldn’t go up and ask him about that unless I wanted to upset him. Knowing my dad, it’s nothing I would have brought up in conversation on the rental car ride back to the airport…He was more worried about me keeping my head on straight, keeping focused, than how to get into the corner. He was just making sure I wasn’t going to be an idiot outside the car. We talked about that all the time — getting up all the time and not sleeping until noon and being on time for appearances and all that.”

Clearly, Dale Earnhardt Sr. was more human than most of us tend to believe.