The football world is still reeling from the loss of former Dallas Cowboys defensive end Marshawn Kneeland, who was found dead in Texas earlier this week in what authorities say was an apparent suicide. It hasn’t really sunk in yet for anyone in the NFL community, and especially not inside the Cowboys building.

Among those taking it hardest is assistant defensive line coach Greg Ellis, who’s been open about the regret he feels for not reaching out to Kneeland more often. Ellis spoke candidly about the signs he now realizes were there.

“I should have known. But the moments that I pay attention to him when he would withdraw, he would get quiet, and then I was like, ‘What’s going on?’ But his No. 1 answer: ‘I’m straight coach, I’m good.’ So, yes, to that again, a lot of things are hindsight. I did see it. But I didn’t think it would lead to this.”

Ellis admitted that while he felt the urge to check in more often, he failed to do so.

“I wish he would have reached out to me. But it’s kind of out of sight, out of mind, and that’s where I feel like I needed to have been calling him, and the last time I talked to him by text. Then I just should have been texting him on a consistent basis.”

That last conversation happened on September 3. Ellis has always been someone who tries to use his platform for good. He’s a vocal mental health advocate and recently wrote and produced a film called ‘My Dear’, which focuses on the importance of acknowledging emotional pain and asking for help.

That’s part of why this loss hits him so deeply. He’s lived and preached the message, but this time, it feels like it came too late. He concluded by saying how we need to check on our loved ones when we see similar signs. You never know what someone might be going through. Checking in time and again might help them open up.

Ellis opens up on Marshawn Kneeland’s struggles

Just a few days ago, Marshawn Kneeland looked like he was living his dream. The 24-year-old DE had just scored his first NFL touchdown, something he probably worked to get for his whole life. His teammates mobbed him in the end zone, and you could see the joy on his face. But as we’ve learned since, that moment of triumph masked a pain that had been with him for a long time.

Greg Ellis shared this week that Kneeland had been struggling since his rookie year after losing his mother, Wendy, to an accidental overdose, two months before his Draft day.

“He lost his mom last year, and he’s been dealing with a lot of things regarding that,” longtime Cowboys insider Clarence Hill said while speaking to Ellis in their podcast.

All through his first season, Kneeland played with his mother in mind. Coaches and teammates often talked about how much he mentioned her, and how the mere memory of her pushed him through every practice.

His mother passed away on February 18, 2024, to an undisclosed illness, two months before he made his NFL debut. Still, he pressed on, finishing his rookie season with 14 tackles, two tackles for loss, a fumble recovery, and three quarterback hits in 11 games. And every time he took the field, he brought her with him. Literally. He wore a necklace that held a small urn containing some of her ashes.

“I got this urn of her ashes, I carry with me everywhere. I still feel like she’s there watching over me,” he had revealed.

That bond is what people will remember most now. Mother and son, both gone far too soon. But Marshawn Kneeland kept his promise.

“I always told her, I’m going to the NFL,” he said years ago.

And he did. The dream didn’t last as long as anyone wanted, but it happened. And no one would ever forget that.

Kneeland’s tragic death serves as a stark reminder of the silent battles many athletes face, echoing another recent loss of former college player Kyren Lacy, whose mother expressed her heartbreak and compassion for Kneeland’s family just a day ago.