Goldust might not be revered as much as The Undertaker, but there’s no denying that man portrayed one of the most iconic characters ever in professional wrestling.
The bizzare ways of the character made for some controversial but entertaining television.
Needless to say, all the sexual undertones of the character were reserved for the Attitude era and weren’t carried on to the modern times.
If you see Dustin Rhodes now, you can’t imagine that once upon a time, this man was notorious for freaking out his opponents by making sexual advances upon them.
Now, for those who don’t know, the master of quirk was once in a rivalry with The Undertaker.
As you can imagine, it led to some of the wildest sequences in WWE history. On one hand, you had The Dead Man, who was known for evil and darkness. You can’t imagine a match featuring Taker to be high on humour.
However, when you collide with Goldust, you aren’t immune even if you are the scariest and most revered character in professional wrestling history.
Goldberg talked to Inside The Ropes about one of the most hilarious incidents from that time. Hear him out and I’ll assure you, this is one of the best pro-wrestling anecdotes that you’ve heard in your life.
As the story goes, Bruce Prichard and The Undertaker were very good friends.
That’s why Prichard decided one day that he wants to prank Taker. As you might have guessed, he decided to use Goldberg as his prop. The Undertaker and Goldberg were to be together in the ring and Prichard wasn’t wasting the opportunity.
This is how Dustin recalls the incident –
“At Raw, Bruce Prichard came to me, and him and Undertaker very very close friends. He said I want you to, I want to play a rib on Taker. And I was like “Oh, f*ck”. Jesus, come on man.”
The rib happened during the commercial break. Taker was down and Goldberg began his characteristic overtures.
“I was still up and Undertaker was lying down flat before he would sit up and that type of stuff. So I crawled down between his legs when we went into break. Now, I’ve crawled around and kind of touched Undertaker’s chest, in his head and stuff like that. But I started crawling up his legs and it’s very sick, I mean just crawling up his legs and kind of teasing.”
“Then I look up at the audience and just give them the good old tongue thing like umm (imitates). And I grab my hand like this and I put it right on his d*ck. And I’m just rubbing right there and I’m making these faces, all sexual like and I’m like what the f*ck am I doing. Bruce is gonna kill me, if I don’t do it you know it’s just like what am I doing, Undertaker’s gonna kill me after this.”
The Undertaker was the locker room leader at the time. You don’t mess with the biggest bully in the yard.
Needless to say, Goldust was scared out of his wits.
“And then right after that we come back up on from commercial and I’m sitting right next to him like this. As soon as I did that, we came back up and then Undertaker sits up and I’m looking over here right, and I’m rubbing myself. And I turn around and we’re both looking at each other like this, and I get scared and run out and that’s the end of the segment basically.”
“And I run back and I hide. F*cking Taker’s mad, he’s mad and you don’t wanna make Taker mad. He comes back and he’s looking for me, g*ddamnit, he’s cussing and he’s throwing s*it and Bruce had to calm him down and say that was me you know, I told Dustin to do that, that was a rib and then he finally came down and then he laughed about it and I put my face out and do everything which’s okay and we went up and shaked hands and hugged and all that”
It’s scary to even imagine what Goldust would’ve gone through.
However, it’s absolutely hilarious at the same time. To think that you can prank The Dead Man like that just points back to the kind of backstage attitude during the Attitude Era.
People weren’t just crossing the boundary on camera, even behind the stage they were up to all kinds of adventures.
Was it healthy? That’s not for us to decide. Many might not have been able to survive the edgy atmosphere in the WWE of those days.
However, it certainly created some of the best professional wrestling content. The characters are immortal now and that’s something which can’t be debated.
What are your thoughts on this hilarious story?