As kids, we sometimes don’t understand the emotional value of certain moments or actions until one day we realize they are exactly what we would give anything to have back. Recently, Payton Tolle tried hard to hide his emotions beneath his cap as a camera pointed directly at him while he remembered his mother, Jina, who died in 2024 after an eight-year battle with colon cancer.

“Every game throughout high school, I’d always know Mom was there because she’d yell out, ‘You’re so pretty,’” Tolle revealed in a recent interview with MLB. “It was meant to embarrass me for a long time, but I quickly realized it was her way of showing that she loved me.”

That’s why he has the phrase that his mother shouted to him a thousand times sewn on his glove. And every time he looks at it, it reminds him of her. It reminds him that a bad performance on the field doesn’t necessarily diminish his value beyond baseball. 

Jina showed her support by simply being there. Even while battling cancer, she would drive three hours to watch Payton and his brother Charlie play baseball. She refused to let her illness define her and still went out of her way to make other people smile. That outlook stayed with Payton, but so did something more personal, the way his mother loved to tease him.

That same outlook now follows Payton into every part of his professional career.

Payton John Tolle made his MLB debut in 2025 as a starter but was shifted to relief duties later in the season. This year, the 23-year-old has had 21 starts with a 3.08 ERA, 134 Ks, and an 8-6 record. And every game, whether he is part of the rotation or not, Tolle runs up to center field and has a conversation with his mother. It’s more than just a routine.

And that sense of support didn’t start with Payton’s career. It had always been part of the Tolle family.

How the Tolle family stayed close through it all

Long before Payton Tolle reached professional baseball, his mother, Jina, shaped how he approached the game. She was a regular presence at his childhood games and even cared for his teammates, who called her “Momma.” When Payton became frustrated by bad pitches or swings, Jina reminded him not to lose sight of why he loved baseball in the first place.

“Show ’em why people love the game of baseball,” she used to say.

As Jina’s battle with stage IV colon cancer progressed, Payton became more intentional about spending time with her. While playing at TCU, he made it a priority to be with his mother whenever he returned home. He later said her illness strengthened their bond and made them more open about showing their love for each other.

“Whenever I went home, it was just, ‘Alright, I’m going to hang out with Mom for a bit,’” Tolle said. “[Her cancer] really just amplified the love that we have for each other and the ways we were showing that.”

Jina showed that love by continuing to be present, even as cancer weakened her. She attended as many of Payton and Charlie’s games and practices as she could and made the most of the time she had with them. Because of that, the small things she once did, from teasing Payton in the stands to reminding him to enjoy baseball, now carry even more meaning for him.

That same habit of showing up extended across the Tolle family. Chad spent countless hours playing catch and throwing batting practice to Payton and Charlie, while the family made time to reconnect whenever baseball pulled them apart.

“We are tight, and we love each other a lot. If a couple of days go by and I’m out baseballing or we’re split up, we’ll make sure to have dinner on the table and talk and stuff like that.” Peyton said back in 2019.

When Jina’s cancer returned, Payton helped however he could, from doing chores and getting groceries to looking after Charlie.

“I just do whatever she needs me to do, if that’s pick up my younger brother Charlie, go get groceries. She doesn’t feel well some days, I’ll pick up the house for her. Kind of small stuff like that.”

Chad stayed closely involved in both sons’ baseball lives, spending years working with them on the field and continuing to throw batting practice to Charlie even after Payton turned pro. After Jina’s death, Payton, Charlie, and Chad leaned on one another through the loss.

“It was definitely a really hard experience for all of us, and we knew that we had each other. We were all going through it together. It was difficult, but we had each other.”

Through it all, the family leaned on one another, just as Jina had always taught them to face difficult moments with the right mindset.

Jina Tolle’s Tigger philosophy still guides Payton

“She was always, ‘Life gives you the crappiest circumstances. You can be a Tigger about it, or you can be an Eeyore. It’s simple,’” the Red Sox rookie said in the interview. 

Tigger and Eeyore are famous animal characters from A.A. Milne’s classic Winnie-the-Pooh stories. The former is a tiger, often bouncing on his tail, and is happy and loud. He thinks he can do anything. The latter is a stuffed donkey who is completely opposite – calm, slow, and more often than not, sad. 

Tolle’s mom taught him how to be brave despite adversity. But more than that, she taught him to be happy. And that is one of the most visible things about the left-hander. Even on days he is not pitching, Tolle is spotted in high spirits and cheering for his team. He said, “You don’t take an off day in terms of good vibes.”

And his teammates love him for that. Players like Connenly Early would make time to put some positive words on his social media posts, particularly to support him regarding the loss of his mother. 

However, Jina’s positivity came with a colorful vocabulary of its own. 

“Probably my favorite quote that my mom would say is like, ‘I love Jesus, but I cuss a little bit. Today’s a great day to be a bad***. Go out there and kick ***,” Tolle said. “She’s like, I kick cancer’s ***. So you can go out there and kick theirs.” 

And it wasn’t just Payton. He said his mother’s outlook on life, even while battling cancer, helped his brother, father, and many others around her. He also credited her for much of the family’s grit, work ethic, and values. That’s why Payton Tolle never misses a chance to show a little bit of who his mother was.

The Boston Red Sox are 68-59, 3rd in the AL East. And they are 5.5 games ahead in the playoff race. They have come a long way from the struggles in the early season. Whether they can win the championship remains to be seen. But irrespective of that, Tolle will continue to carry his mother’s phrase: “You’re a hack still.”