If there’s one thing we’ve learned from the ESPYs this year—besides Shai Gilgeous-Alexander casually stacking MVPs like they’re Pokémon cards—it’s that Lonzo Ball is catching more stray shots than a Knicks fan at a Reggie Miller documentary screening. While the night was supposed to be about honoring legends, giving props to athletes, and raising funds for a great cause, somehow, the Ball family managed to slide right into the social media dunk contest—and not in a good way.

It all started when Lonzo took the stage, doing what should’ve been a harmless brotherly intro for LiAngelo “Gelo” Ball at the 2025 ESPYs. Lonzo kept it simple, going, “ESPYs 25. What’s happening? We’re trying to have a good time tonight. Put your hands together and give it up for my brother. Gelo.” What followed was Gelo shouting out their father LaVar, and then… starting to sing his song “Tweaker.” And no, it wasn’t some undercover Big Baller Brand anthem—it was Gelo’s latest rap single that’s made about as many headlines as Ben Simmons makes three-pointers.

Let’s be real: The ESPYs have always been a mix of heartfelt tributes, wild moments, and the occasional comedian trying way too hard. This year? Hosted by the always “polarizing” Shane Gillis, the vibe hit weirder than Dwight Howard in a slam dunk contest final.

You had Shai getting bleeped in his acceptance speech, Simone Biles snatching more awards than LeBron collects All-NBA selections, and Cooper Flagg’s college breakout getting its own applause track. But somehow, in a night loaded with stars, the Ball family stole the spotlight—and not exactly in MVP fashion.

Gelo’s performance had all the stage command of Kwame Brown at a free-throw line. And poor Lonzo—he stood there like a cardboard cutout from NBA 2K’s crowd filler feature. You’d think a guy with a highlight reel of no-look passes could deliver an intro with some energy. But nope. Fans said his stage presence fell flatter than the Celtics’ offense in the 2024 Finals fourth quarter.

Fan Reactions: The Triple Threat Roast With All the Right Stats

“The stage presence of a potato.” We’ve seen Lonzo criticized before—his shooting form has been ripped apart more times than Chris Paul’s hamstrings—but now fans were coming at his vibe. One user even joked, “Lonzo plays like the shyest Chad ever.” Ouch. His passes may be sharp, his defense top-tier, but when it comes to personality? Fans feel like they’re watching Tim Duncan’s charisma without the rings. But to be fair, Lonzo has always been a reserved guy. Bulls fans still remember when he came off injury with sneaky fast ball movement and defensive hustle. His game’s never been about flash—it’s been about substance. Kind of like a young Andre Miller but with better knees. Still… charisma? Let’s just say he won’t be hosting SNL anytime soon.

“Bro got zero stage presence.” Some called him the “Rajon Rondo of public speaking”—high basketball IQ, but looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. That sums up Lonzo at the ESPYs. The man delivered his intro with the energy of a load-managed Kawhi Leonard on media day. Yet, if you ask his fans, that’s just who he is—a cerebral playmaker who lets his game do the talking. And you know what? That’s fair. Except, this wasn’t a game. It was the ESPYs stage—and people were expecting at least a little razzle-dazzle. Instead, they got Lonzo… being Lonzo.

“Must be rough for ‘Gelo’… being the least talented Ball brother and have to settle for being a bad rapper.” Now this one hit harder than a prime Shaq in the low post. Gelo’s career has been like the Knicks’ playoff runs—full of hope, short on delivery. From bouncing around Lithuania, the JBA, the G-League, and now to rap? His track “Tweaker” might’ve hit #4 on Spotify U.S. charts, but the reaction has been a mix of “catchy” and “cringe.”

One fan compared his performance to a teenager lip-syncing on MySpace—yes, MySpace, because remember, we’re talking to millennials here. Even Reddit’s rap heads chimed in, calling him “corny.” But hey, you’ve got to give him props for finding a niche. The man scored an $8M guarantee and a $13M deal—more than some NBA role players. Not bad for the “third Ball brother.”

“None of these brothers perform! Just noise.” A little harsh? Maybe. But let’s check the resume: Lonzo — NCAA assist king, All-American, known for defensive grit. LaMelo — Rookie of the Year, All-Star, turned the Hornets into something other than a lottery joke. LiAngelo — National high school standout, overseas journeyman, now charting rapper.

So sure, they perform—just not always in ways the fans expect. Lonzo and LaMelo shine on the hardwood, Gelo’s trying on the mic. It’s like if the Splash Brothers brought their cousin to karaoke night.

“ESPYs have fallen off so hard.” And finally, some fans just aimed their sights at the whole event. Shane Gillis’ hosting felt as awkward as Ben Simmons taking a game-winning shot, and the vibe? Somewhere between “meh” and “can we just get to the afterparty?” People felt the ESPYs lacked that killer moment—no Kevin Garnett “Anything is possible!” speech, no iconic meme-in-the-making. Just… filler. Kind of like the 2012-13 Lakers.

In a night meant to celebrate excellence, the Ball family found themselves trending for all the wrong reasons. Lonzo Ball didn’t bomb—but he definitely gave off serious “I don’t want to be here” vibes. Gelo? He might be the first player to go undrafted from both the NBA and the rap game’s approval ratings. And the ESPYs? Well, they’re trying hard not to become the All-Star Weekend of award shows—once iconic, now just kind of… there.

But hey, even if Lonzo can’t win over the stage, we know one thing: when it comes to court vision, defense, and brotherly love? He’s still got a starting spot in the Ball family lineup—and no fan roast is changing that.