485 Lbs Albino Gorilla Made Shaquille O’Neal Regret in Fear, Lakers Champ Claims

“Hey man, where your fur at?” Famous words between Shaquille O’Neal and a gorilla. Or at least, that’s what Shaq is convinced they’re saying. Remember when the Internet combined its intellectual power to debate if 100 men could take on a gorilla? Shaq was the only one in the TNT studio who saw this fight going one way. That’s because he has some unusual experience with gorillas. We thought O’Neal was making up a beef with the Shaqs of the primate world. But no, here comes Brian Shaw to confirm Shaq vs Silverback goes with one person waving the white flag.

Shaw has been Shaq’s veteran on the Orlando Magic and the Los Angeles Lakers. He’s got more insight since Magic’s Superman beat Michael Jordan in the Eastern Conference Finals, to the Big Diesel leading the Lakers to three consecutive titles. Shaq even credits B-Shaw for saving him when he and Kobe fell short. For his part, Shaw has only seen Shaq’s brute force on the court. So he was surprised to see the terrifying center tremble in fear once.

While hosting him on Fast Break, Byron Scott wanted a non-bathroom genre story about the Big Diesel (Shaw had one of those anyway) for once. By B-Shaw’s description, this was a “Crazy one.”

“So we’re in Philadelphia for the ’01 finals, playing against Philly. And on one of the days in between the games, we get to take a private tour at the Philadelphia Zoo. It’s Shaq, myself, Jerome, Uncle Jerome [Shaq’s bodyguard]. Yeah. So we go to the gorilla enclosure. The dude that’s giving us the tour says, ‘When we go by the gorillas, do not look the gorillas straight in the eye. They’re gonna take it as a threat, and it’s gonna make them go crazy.’”

It’s interesting that Shaw specifies this zoo had an albino silverback, a rarity in nature. The world’s only known albino silverback, Snowflake, lived in Spain until it died in 2003. While we can’t find a record of Philly ever housing one, this detail is not specific to the story. What is relevant is the territorial nature of silverbacks when they see a massive challenger. And while Shaw was complying with the zookeeper’s instructions, what does Shaq do face-to-face with nature’s MDE?

O’Neal took the zookeeper’s instructions the same way he used to defy Phil Jackson or Pat Riley. “Shaq walks by and he’s looking straight like this.” And Shaw demonstrates that lightning fast Shaq swoosh the big guy tried to threaten Charlie Mack with. “Then he just turns like this, and he looks right in the gorilla’s eye. And that big a– albino gorilla ran up to the glass and started banging on the glass real hard.” Was that the effect the Big Diesel was going for? Maybe not.

Because Shaw said, “and it scared [Shaq]. The first time I ever seen Shaq scared, right? I immediately looked at Shaq, and he said, ‘Damn, he wasn’t lying. He going crazy.’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ He looking at you going, ‘How the hell he get out there?’” O’Neal undoubtedly regretted not following the instructions, and his teammate saw the fear that was once reserved for Michael Jordan on the court.

It’s funny now that you hear it. But every time O’Neal is in front of a gorilla, he’s living his biggest fear.

Scientific evidence backs Shaquille O’Neal vs gorilla debate

Unlike the time Shaquille O’Neal accidentally signed up for the 30th anniversary of Shark Week, the big guy has voluntarily visited multiple gorillas around the world without cameras. For research, of course. He concluded from his observations that gorillas don’t like him. (He wouldn’t last a day in Planet of the Apes.)

He volunteered this revelation when everyone was dragging him into the 100 men vs 1 gorilla debate. He had to make it clear that no number of Shaqs can take on a gorilla because “None, because Shaq already knows what the gorilla will do,” he said on the record on The Big Podcast. “Every zoo that I’ve went to, the gorilla tries to f—– fight me,” he claimed and narrated a very similar story to Shaw’s about looking a gorilla in the eye. He believes the apes might also see him as one of their own.

While gorillas and Shaq are nearly the same height, that’s 485 pounds of brute force, and Shaq’s at his trimmest at 325 lbs and a brand new hip. Yet, somehow the Internet didn’t believe O’Neal back then.

If Shaq and B-Shaw’s versions aren’t enough, an executive of the Miami Zoo, Ron Magill, confirmed in 2022 that their primate residents indeed freak out when O’Neal visits. He also hinted that the male gorillas are ‘intimidated’ by Shaq, like he’d steal the girl gorillas. So they get a little crazy and scare our gentle giant.

But at least he’s wiser about the great ape. Because Chuck and Kenny think a 100 men, with the right amount of determination, would be able to take down a silverback. O’Neal had his ‘interpreter’ lip-sync, “It’s going to be 1 gorilla knocking out a 100 men. That’s what it’s gonna be. And I promise you that, once those knuckles hit the ground, Bam! It’s all gorilla.” 

Take it from Shaq guys. Stop dragging him into this fight.