Lakers Champ Says Shaquille O’Neal Handed Him “Big A– Turd” in Private Locker Room Incident

Just when you thought there couldn’t be more Shaq x poo stories, here comes a real stinker. It’s the dubious fortune Brian Shaw has of being Shaquille O’Neal’s teammate twice. Most rookies, like Kobe Bryant and Ty Lue, have claimed that the Big Diesel has hazed them with a smelly ritual. Apparently, being his veteran didn’t allow Shaw to avoid fate in the form of Shaq’s loaded prank. Shaw felt a tad guilty ‘exposing’ O’Neal, maybe because he saw how Shaq’s bathroom antics became the most viral moment of TNT this year.

Even Byron Scott ominously and hilariously noted, every time he hosts one of Shaq’s teammates on Fast Break, their stories revolve around the big guy and a restroom. B-Shaw didn’t want to say it, but… “Well, you know what? Everybody else is talking about it. I’ll tell you one.”

Cast: B-Shaw, 6’6″, guard/narrator. Shaq, 7’1″ center/main character. Magazine, 9.6×11.7 inches, true victim.

Scene: Bathroom stalls in a practice facility.

As all Shaq stories begin, Shaw described, “So, we used to have in the bathroom stalls, you remember, we have all the magazines, Robb Report and Architectural Digest, stuff like that, in the stalls.” You can already guess where this is going but he continues, “So if you happen to be in a stall next to Shaq, in a stall taking a number two, it would not be out of the ordinary for him to grab whatever the Robb Report, whatever magazine he was looking at, and be like, ‘B-shaw, man, look at this car on page 46. I gotta get me one of these,’ right?”

What does Shaw have to suspect? Shaq does casually buy cars at first look. Even though Scott and Kid Jay could tell what was coming, they held their breaths for the (pun unintended) climax. “And [Shaq would) slide the magazine under the stall to you. And then you open up the magazine to page 46 and it’s a big a– turd.”

Yes, we laugh about it now, but can we imagine the trauma and agony Shaw suffered when he opened that magazine then? How does he open magazines anymore? Does he get flashbacks of this moment if he sees a Robb Report on the stands? We’d like to know.

“Sorry, Shaq. I had to tell… I had to tell,” Shaw said at the end of this story. Then again, he isn’t the first and last victim of Shaq’s dirty bombing.

Shaquille O’Neal is in denial of his fragrant history

Just this April, Shaquille O’Neal served one of the most viral moments during Inside the NBA’s final run. During Charles Barkley’s very serious talk, O’Neal got up for a bathroom emergency. Chuck, Kenny, and Ernie blamed it on the trendy olive oil diet Shaq apparently was on. O’Neal vehemently maintains it was a pee break. But the fear in his eyes, that shimmy swagger on the way to the bathroom, and testimonies from the TNT crew point to a Code Brown.

Funny 53-year-old Shaq tried to downplay it. As if Gary Payton didn’t confirm on the record that O’Neal’s style of rookie hazing involved a bucketload of ‘loafs.’ “If one of the rookies would be in the stall, then he would take a bucket and use the bathroom in it for about a week. And then all of a sudden he would pour it on them,” the senior Glove claimed. B-Shaw is lucky he was always Shaq’s vet because this ritual got Kobe Bryant, Ty Lue, and Joel Anthony.

Ty Lue even claimed that O’Neal dropped a brick in Devean George’s shoe. George himself denied Lue’s version of events.

Before the TNT incident, O’Neal just had to jump on social media to call out Payton and Lue for ‘smearing’ his reputation. “I most certainly did not @draymondshow @iambarondavis don’t listen to him this is what they call. #allegedly,” O’Neal wrote after Lue’s appearance on Draymond Green’s podcast. “@bigpidcastwithshaq #thedraymondshow can’t believe he said that shhhhhhhh.”

It took only a month for his efforts to get poopoed on live on TNT, who even brought him a whole Port-a-potty on the set, and these stories resurfaced. What will Shaq have to say for Shaw’s version now?