We are now into the third episode of the ‘Free Game’ podcast powered by EssentiallySports. Hosts, Florida’s Me’Arah O’Neal & KN’isha Godfrey, dive deep into self-love, love, relationships, goals, and balancing love, life, and career. Here it goes!

KN’isha Godfrey: Okay, so it’s the month of February. This podcast, this episode, is about love. But let’s kick it off with asking you, Me’Arah, what are some things that you do to take care of yourself?

Me’Arah O’Neal: I’d say one: sleep. Sleep is great recovery. Okay, so sleep for sure. Music helps me just be calm a little bit. I don’t really know how to put that into words, but music helps me relax. Brain Tap.

It’s like a visualization. I don’t really know how to explain it, but it’s like visualization. It’s like you put it on your ears like this, and then it covers your eyes, and it has music and affirmations, and you can visualize. It’s a de-stress thing, basically. I do that. And this might be weird, but the shower helps me relax too. I love the shower, actually.

KN’isha Godfrey: I feel that, you know, because sometimes I think about the majority of times when you’re in the shower, are you really in the shower or are you thinking about so many things that are going on? Like, are you just taking that time to just actually decompress and relax?

Me’Arah O’Neal: Yes. I feel like every time I get in the shower, it’s just—it’s automatic. Like, I don’t really think about anything else but, like, I just listen to the sound, like shower sounds. What about you?

KN’isha Godfrey: I feel like, for me, I do a variety of different things to take care of myself. Piggybacking off of the shower, I like to run a bath. Girl, run me a bath, light me a candle. And being all relaxed. Nails done, girl. Maintenance, everything. Take care of myself, get my hair done. Girl, I try to do it all.

I like to meditate. I like to read a devotional, make sure that I’m aligned. I like to do tons of things. I like to go for walks. Be outside in nature – now that is relaxing to me. What else do I do? Oh, I like to color. I do. I really like to color. Like, I don’t know why. I color with markers so I can do Disney characters and stuff like that. So that’s what I like to do. Sometimes I also like listening to music, too. Like, that’s a very relaxing thing.

Me’Arah O’Neal: Is there like a certain artist you listen to when you get stressed or go to decompress? A certain playlist you have for that?

KN’isha Godfrey: Yes, I do. But if I’m like in my self‑care mode, like a relaxation mode, I like to listen to jazz music, or I like to listen to just soft music, not with like too many words going on, you know?

Me’Arah O’Neal: I’m a Frank Ocean when it comes to that.

KN’isha Godfrey: Maybe some like Jhené [Aiko]. 

[To Me’Arah]: How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? Do you think it’s just a day?

Me’Arah O’Neal: As of right now, how I’m feeling about it, I think it’s just another day. If I was in a relationship, I probably nine times out of ten would feel way different. Well, depending on the partner. But it just depends on the situation. I’m just picky about how I am with certain people.

But to answer your question right now, I mean, it’s love day, but it’s just another day. Like, I ain’t going to be doing anything special or nothing. What about you?

KN’isha Godfrey: I feel like Valentine’s Day—I don’t know. I like holidays, you know? So, regardless if I’m in a relationship or not, I think it’s a day that you should just take to take care of yourself. Like, no one else has to really be involved, but that is a day where you’re like, “Hey, it’s Valentine’s.”

Me’Arah O’Neal: I am not going to lie, I do—I don’t know. I have mixed feelings about it. 

[To KN’isha Godfrey]: This is a random question, but if you were to get gifted something, or if somebody were to do something for you on Valentine’s Day, what is like the special or like perfect day?

KN’isha Godfrey: I feel like my ideal Valentine’s Day, if I were to get gifted something, I’m really into letters, like personalized letters. I love flowers. I don’t know, it would just have to be something like—I know you thought about, like not anything too crazy, but like this person put thought into the day, and that makes me happy.

Me’Arah O’Neal: I was about to say the same thing. It just has to be thoughtful.  Like, “Wow, you really did that, and you put your time and effort into that.”

KN’isha Godfrey: What about for you?

Me’Arah O’Neal: If it was like a gift, I don’t know, because maybe like some type of thoughtful jewelry. Like, you get somebody like a necklace, or something like that, it would probably be a gift for me. I’d probably say a letter, too, or something.

I’m not big on flowers, I’m not going to lie. I like accessories. Clothes. I mean, like a teddy bear, probably, or like a heart pillow, something I could use. I’m not really going to use flowers for real.

KN’isha Godfrey: You know what I learned from someone? If you really care about someone, you have to ask that person, “What does care look like to them?” You know what I mean? Instead of just treating someone how you want to be treated, ask them, “How do you want to be treated?” That’s top‑tier care.

And I was like, you know what, that is so true because majority of the time we go through life and we’re treating people how we want to be treated and say that that is caring, when essentially you have to ask that person, “How can I care for you?” and then care for them.

Me’Arah O’Neal: That’s crazy. Because when you said, “treat people how you want to be treated,” that is something I actually learned in elementary school. That was something they went by. And then as I got older and got in relationships, you could see that that wasn’t the case.

You could treat somebody how you want to be treated, but they’re not going to treat you the same way. So that’s not really a real thing. But that’s good. Yeah, you do gotta do that. That matters a lot. I would love for somebody to ask me that.

KN’isha Godfrey: Yes. Yes. Because sometimes, you feel like you’re caring for someone and you’re like, “I’m doing a good job.” And they’re like, “That’s not how I want to be cared for.” But then, you know, there comes communication with that. But I thought that was some really good advice.

Me’Arah O’Neal: Do you think communication is important or reciprocation?

KN’isha Godfrey: Communication is definitely needed. But I feel like you can only get reciprocation from communication. But I do feel like reciprocation is important because it hurts when you’re a giver and you consistently give to someone without anyone reciprocating that.

But then again, I feel like it just goes with the person because if you’re naturally a giver, giving makes you feel good. It doesn’t matter if the person reciprocates it or not. You’re just like, “I’m a giver. That’s who I am. This is what makes me happy.”

Having reciprocation is nice. But I definitely feel like it’s important to reciprocate. Like, that isn’t essentially a relationship if you’re not giving back, and that’s not going to make a person want to continue that relationship with you if you’re not reciprocating, because two people make, you know, the relationship.

[To Me’Arah O’Neal]: How do you feel?

Me’Arah O’Neal: I feel like it’s not 50/50 if it’s no reciprocation, right? And it’s no communication without being able to understand. Like, if you’re going to communicate to respond to what I’m saying and not try to understand what I’m saying, then just scratch the whole thing.

KN’isha Godfrey: And you know what I feel like about that too, though? Like, you know, you communicating with someone or whatever, but they aren’t really—excuse me—they aren’t really actually listening to what you’re saying, but they’re thinking about listening to respond. Yes, instead of listening to listen. Like, hear me out, hear what I’m saying or take what I’m saying.

Me’Arah O’Neal: I think that’s a skill that people have, though, to be honest, because I’m gonna keep it a buck. It depends on the topic. If I’m passionate about something and you’re saying something that just not clicking, like I’m not even tuning it out on purpose, but I’m gonna just, like, I’m gonna listen. I’m gonna feel like I’m listening to you, but I’m actually listening to respond rather than understand where you’re coming from.

KN’isha Godfrey: And I mean that’s the majority of people. The majority of people are like, “I get what you’re trying to say, but you’re not hearing what I’m—hearing out here.” And there’s like a back and forth.

Me’Arah O’Neal: Do you think this—the generation that we’re in—is… what do you think about it, love-wise, from what you’ve seen from public relationships?

KN’isha Godfrey: I feel like in our generation, dealing with love and dealing with relationships, you really gotta get to know yourself first and know who you are first before you really try to get in a relationship with someone and have a thriving relationship, right? Because at the end of the day it’s all going to come back to, you know—I like the—I don’t know if it’s a quote or where I seen it, but it was just like the person you choose or like the person that you’re in a relationship [with] is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

And so with that, I just feel like when you get into a relationship, you should just think about that. Like, this person is a reflection of how I feel about myself. Like, do I love myself? Do I care about myself?

Back to your question about our generation and stuff like that, I feel like we don’t really know ourselves. We know what we see. And we kind of try to mirror that. But once we, you know, know who we are, know what we want for ourselves and not what we see, like, we might have better relationships.

And I’m not saying that, like, that’s easy because we’re forever changing, you know? Like, we feel one way one day and then the next—the next be a little different, you know. I think—I don’t know. I think it’s all about who you want to grow with, who’s willing to grow with you.

Me’Arah O’Neal: I feel like as time went on, just people started learning things that are just like—I feel like it’s stuff in the media that says, “worry about yourself.” So then people took that and ran with it, and now they just out here dogging people. So, like, I’m just like, I’m cool, brother.

KN’isha Godfrey: I mean, I feel like that’s just the scary part about it, is people — I’ve also seen something too about just, like, genuine people, like good people. Like, when you find good people, when you find genuine people, hold on to that because there are a lot of people who are the total opposite.

Me’Arah O’Neal: It’s like genuine people are rare now.

[To KN’isha Godfrey]: When you’re talking to somebody or in a relationship, what are some traits or traits that you look for?

KN’isha Godfrey: I look for a man that’s God‑fearing first. That’s important to me. And, like, I feel like as I’ve grown—because things have definitely changed—I feel like traits that I was looking for before, I’m not looking for now.

But I would say someone who’s God‑fearing, someone who is respectful, and it kind of goes back to what we were talking about: like, not treating someone how you want to be treated. Ask me how I would want to be cared for. Don’t just do what you think, because that’s not actually caring. So that, and then honesty, loyalty—I mean, you can name off all of the things, but those are just a few.

Me’Arah O’Neal: Okay. Me, loyalty for sure. I just feel like you gotta be—you gotta be funny. What else? I think God‑fearing for sure. Cannot forget that. Gotta have some style. Gotta have some, like, aura to you… have a little presence to you.

I think being considerate is very important to me. Being able to reciprocate is very important to me. You just gotta feel something. Like, we both gotta have aura. That’s double aura. I can’t have—I can’t have somebody that don’t have aura. Somebody that’s real. As long as you’re real, goes a long way.

Me’Arah O’Neal: Have you ever had somebody that didn’t have any traits that you wanted, or talked to somebody that has—

KN’isha Godfrey: No. I feel like I’ve always had someone who at least had, like, one out of the five or, like, two out of the five.

[To Me’Arah O’Neal]: What do you feel about that? 

Me’Arah O’Neal: I feel like I used to give people the benefit of the doubt.  And then later on you find out—or you don’t find out, you knew the whole time, but later on, you just actually see…

KN’isha Godfrey: I feel like I’ve experienced good people. I have.

Me’Arah O’Neal: I just think I’ve been through some things. I am not going to say they’re bad people, but they just did some effed up things. But yeah, I’m grateful for ’em ’cause they made me better.

KN’isha Godfrey: You know what I will say, though, is that everyone teaches you something. And, like, that’s the good part. Everyone teaches you something, at least about yourself, which is cool.

Me’Arah O’Neal: Do you think you can heal while being in a relationship with somebody?

KN’isha Godfrey: No. I personally don’t feel like you can heal with being in a relationship with someone, just because I feel like you need that—you need that space. And, you know, I feel like you need that space to be alone, right?

And, you know, sit with yourself and—yeah. Like, I don’t—I don’t know how else to put it, but I feel like you grow most by yourself. I do. I feel like you grow the most when you’re by yourself. And if you’re healing, you need that space to grow. Definitely need space.

[To Me’Arah O’Neal]: How do you feel?

Me’Arah O’Neal: I disagree, though. Okay. I think it is—I think you can. I think you can meet somebody that can actually help you heal. I can’t really explain why I feel that way; I just do. Just ’cause I know how I am.

KN’isha Godfrey: But wait, if you’re healing, though, if you’re healing from something, how are you around that person?

Me’Arah O’Neal: You’re not. If you’re healing from a relationship with somebody, you get out of that relationship, you never see that person again. You’re not contacting… Okay, let me just explain. Basically, you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t work out, get out of that relationship, and then find somebody else. That’s how I was asking it.

[To KN’isha Godfrey]: You could get a little break in between, but say you’re in the middle of your healing process and you just meet somebody. Like, can you still continue that healing process with that person in your life?

KN’isha Godfrey: I feel like it depends on the person.

Me’Arah O’Neal: I’d say yes, just because I know how I am, and I think I’m a very genuine person. And if I’m going to get in a relationship with somebody, I have to deeply care about you. And if I deeply care about you, then I don’t want to do anything else but uplift you. So I think it is possible.

KN’isha Godfrey: You can still do that, but be healing. I don’t know.

[To Me’Arah O’Neal]: What is your best piece of advice for people navigating through life?

Me’Arah O’Neal: People navigating through life. Best piece of advice I have is, I think, as long as you have big dreams, aspirations, you gotta chase them because anything is possible as long as you put your mind to it and give your maximum effort. Because if you try your best and you still don’t get it, like, you can’t be mad at that because you tried your best. You can’t ever be mad.

Kelly actually said that the other day, didn’t she? She said, “You can’t be mad if you tried your best and don’t get it.” But I think if you have big dreams, aspirations, like, you should go chase them because we have—how many on this earth? 85 max. Like, you gotta go.

KN’isha Godfrey: Yeah. I mean, I feel like my best piece of advice would—to piggyback off that—is just like, this isn’t your practice life. And, you know, you were created on purpose for a purpose. So, it’s only right that you pursue that.

The entire conversation dives deep into life, people, purpose, insecurities, and offers a blueprint to listeners who are going through something similar in their lives. KN’isha Godfrey and Me’Arah O’Neal shared a piece of their history and life to help you deal with your current and future.