Florida State isn’t running from anybody. After going 2-10 last season and getting laughed out of half the stadiums they played in, you’d think Mike Norvell would be quietly ducking into 2025 with some humble pie in his back pocket. But nah—he’s walking tall, talking slick, and throwing a 5,116-yard warning shot straight at Alabama and Kalen DeBoer ahead of their Week 1 throwdown. The date? August 30. The venue? Doak Campbell Stadium. The vibes? Straight pressure. And Norvell isn’t blinking—because he loaded up a QB with legs like Vick and confidence like Prime.

After a rough 2024 season, Florida State moved on from DJ Uiagalelei due to injuries and bad play. So, Mike Norvell pulled off one of the most underrated heists of the offseason with Thomas Castellanos. The man racked up 5116 yards of offense and 47 touchdowns the last two seasons at Boston College. That’s with Bill O’Brien making life harder than a third-down blitz.

Mike Norvell gave a big warning to Kalen DeBoer’s Bama ahead of season opener: “He’s putting himself in position. You talk about being the starting quarterback, but our expectations for him to be one of the best quarterbacks in the country,” Norvell told Warchant.com, but then he doubles down on his traits: “He’s got great skill with his arm, with his legs. But the thing I’ve been so impressed with is just his leadership.”

That’s a wild line to say out loud for a team that just went 2-10. But it kind of makes sense when you look under the hood. Castellanos might not be a clean-cut pocket guy, but he’s box-office every snap. Think Jordan Travis meets backyard Lamar. In 2023 alone, he put up over 3,300 yards, ran for 1,113 of those, and accounted for 28 total touchdowns. Boston College looked dangerous with him. Without him? Like a car without gas.

Now imagine that kind of chaos with Gus Malzahn dialing up the plays; FSU is going over +6.5. Mike Norvell wants all the smoke against the season opener: “It’s a great opener for us,” Mike Norvell said. “You know, college football is different. You kick-off, and every snap matters. Everything that you do, that first game, you have to be ready. I think over the years, our guys have shown in their preparation the importance of the opener. I see nothing different going into this year. Just continued excitement for us to put our best foot forward.”

Translation: Bama better not sleepwalk into Tallahassee thinking it’s still 2012. Now over in Tuscaloosa, the Tide are trying real hard to convince us they still got it. But the cracks? Yeah, they’re showing. Badly.

Are Kalen DeBoer’s past Alabama woes coming back all at once?

Let’s start with the obvious: Nick Saban dipped before the 2024 season, and ever since, it’s been a wild rollercoaster for new head coach Kalen DeBoer. The man inherited a Ferrari and then immediately hit a speed bump named reality. First, there was the 40-35 faceplant loss to Vanderbilt—yes, Vandy, the team Bama hadn’t lost to in over 40 years. Then came the 24-3 beatdown from a struggling Oklahoma squad. That one had Bama fans holding prayer circles. DeBoer owned it, though. “(Last season) wasn’t good enough in any of our minds,” he said. “We need to be better… that jump should happen.”

But here’s the thing—what if it doesn’t?

According to CFB Hourglass’s Jake Wimberley on That SEC Football Podcast, Bama’s 2025 forecast? 8-4. Again. “This year, the models got them eight and four again. Kalen DeBoer, man, what a disappointing season that would be for the Tide fans.” Wimberley predicted. Even the host had to give Jake his flowers for nailing that take last year.

And to be honest, he might be cooking with facts.

Alabama’s offense is still looking sketchy, even with Ryan Grubb stepping in as OC. Last year they finished 22nd in yards per play and coughed up 21 turnovers—good for 97th in the country. That’s not just bad. That’s “fire alarms going off in the film room” bad. Now throw in the elephant in the quarterback room: Ty Simpson. Simpson’s been on campus for 4 years, was a five-star recruit, but still hasn’t done a damn thing worth framing. He’s got 167 passing yards last season and 179 the year before. Total. That’s it. Man’s basically a myth at this point. And yet… that’s who DeBoer is supposed to ride into battle with?

Wimberley didn’t hold back either. “When you comb through the SEC metrics… Ty Simpson is 12th on my list of quarterbacks in the SEC.” Dead last. For a Bama QB. That’s not a stat—that’s a crisis. Meanwhile, FSU’s defense just got a total makeover. Mike Norvell went full Madden Franchise Mode—fired his defensive coordinator, hired Tony White. And just like that,  August 30th game feels real spicy.

Florida State’s win total at DraftKings is sitting at just 6.5. But Norvell and company? They’re treating that line like personal disrespect. And Bama? They better pray Ty Simpson wakes up between now and kickoff. Because if he doesn’t? Mike Norvell and his 5,116-yard man might just throw the first real punch of the 2025 season—and remind the whole country that Florida State is done being quiet.