Bret Bielema is definitely one of the most exciting coaches to watch as we head into the 2025 season. He really turned around the Illinois football program, leading them to an impressive 10-win season, only the fifth time that’s happened in the school’s history. He even took down tough teams like Michigan and Penn State during his time there. It’s worth noting, though, that while winning against Michigan last year was a huge deal for him and the team, Bielema was also remembering his mom, whom he lost in 2022, when they faced Michigan back in 2022.

Just two days before Illinois faced Michigan on 19th November, 2022, Bielema got the tragic news that his mother, Marilyn, had passed away after battling breast cancer for 30 years. But Bielema’s grief became more intense when he heard that his father-in-law, Gerg, to whom he was close, passed away just 6 days after his mother’s passing. These two incidents took a toll on him, but he remembered his father-in-law’s words.

“Why don’t you just make it easy on me? Go to a bowl that’s here in Florida so I can just drive to the game,” said Bielema’s father-in-law in Bielema’s final interaction. The interaction had its charm. Although the team lost that Michigan game, Bielema still fulfilled and exceeded expectations with his recruiting and program duties. Bielema flew to Tampa in early December that year and signed a Bowl Contract, then he went to recruit in 14 states over the next 10 days and signed off on the week’s early signing period. But now, 3 years since he lost his mother and father-in-law, Bielema still thinks about the difficult times he faced.

Bielema sat on the 19th June episode of ‘George Wrighter’s College Football Podcast’ and talked about how his life has been shaped by several tragedies, even before he lost his mother. “You know my mom? Well, we lost her three years ago, but she was probably one of the most influential people in my life… When I was in college, she got breast cancer and survived it for over 30 years, and I remember going through that with her, and then within a couple of months of that happening, I also lost a sister.”

Bielema’s sister, Betsy, passed away in a tragic horse-riding accident in Seattle in 1990 at 27 years of age. Bielema, at the time in his 20s, was an Iowa player; the now-Illinois head coach was rising in his career, and the news shook him. He got the news when he was playing his game against Michigan, and it was utterly heartbreaking. But more than that news was the shock news he got later, after a few months, that his grandmother had passed away. Bielema recalls the time when it was one of the darkest times of his life.

“She (Bret’s sister) was taken from this earth when I was actually playing a game at Michigan. She was tragically taken from us in a horse-riding accident in Seattle, Washington. On a Saturday, that same spring, I lost my grandmother, right, so the women in my life in a six-month window had really challenged me as a person. And I didn’t know in 1989 and 1990 that that was mental health, right?” said Bielema.

The moments are a reminder about the tough times and the place from which the Illinois head coach has come. It’s a powerful reminder of uncertainty, loss, and grief that can come without a moment’s notice. Not everyone could have withstood all these emotional tolls, and Bret Bielema has done that. It speaks a ton about his mental strength, grit, and determination. But all that wouldn’t have happened without sufficient help, which Bielema recounts he got from several people.

Bret Bielema recalls how he coped after the tragic passing of his sister and grandmother

Bielema is currently married to Jen Hielsberg, whom he wed on March 10th, 2012, in Madison, Wisconsin. The couple has two daughters, Briella and Brexli, and currently lives in Champaign, Illinois. Biemela turned to his family, who helped him cope with the tragedies both in the 1990s and in 2022. But he wasn’t alone with his wife and children; his brothers and sisters were also there to support him. But he also got support from his D-line coach, Ted Gil.

“Obviously, my family,” Bret replied to Wrighter’s question as to who supported him in those difficult times. The head coach, however, had a special mention for his D-line coach, Ted Gil. “I have two brothers, two sisters, who were really really big, and my parents… but I think during those moments, my D-line coach Ted Gil was the one who told me my sister was no longer with us, right? And to have that moment with him, and then he supported me for the next two or three weeks in a big way, but then the rest of my career.”

Bielema played as a defensive lineman at Iowa from 1989 to 1992 under the legendary head coach Hayden Fry. While he wasn’t as good a player as one might imagine him to be, he recorded 77 career tackles. Bielema, however, learned his craft from Hayden Fry and the coaches who were around him and coped with the tragedies successfully. That craft gave us the 2024 season and, expectedly, a playoff qualification in the 2025 season.