From calling plays on the sidelines to calling out lazy dating habits, Charissa Thompson’s range is elite. On the ‘Calm Down with Erin & Charissa’ podcast, she doesn’t just talk about sports; she drops real-deal relationship advice that has helped fans and celebrities alike. Well, Charissa is no stranger to romantic fumbles herself, with two rushed marriages, a cheating ex, and a hacked iCloud. However, learning from her own experience, she has turned those stumbles into a guidebook for others. In a confusing dating era, she brings the honest voice people didn’t know they needed. And once again, the hard-won wisdom came into play recently, when a joint therapy session with her boyfriend Steve took an unexpected turn.

Charissa Thompson, in a lighthearted but revealing video shared on the ‘Calm Down With Erin and Charissa‘ podcast Instagram page, opened up about the time she brought her boyfriend, Steve, to therapy. But what was supposed to be a breakthrough session ended up being more of a stand-up set. The plan was simple that is, her therapist had suggested including Steve to help unpack how Charissa’s past relationships were affecting her new one.

But as soon as Steve walked into the room, full of energy and asking where to sit, how to use the pillow, and cracking jokes, he instantly stole the show. “He’s like, ‘Hey Doc, how’s it going?’” she recalled, as both Steve and the therapist ended up laughing through the session while Charissa sat there, getting nothing out of it.

By the next session, her therapist was completely charmed, even saying, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Steve.” That’s when Charissa had her Taylor Swift moment: “Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” The story, captioned “Don’t go to couples therapy,” immediately drew laughs and love online. But the takeaway was clear: even the most well-meaning partner can unintentionally hijack a session meant for self-work. As Charissa joked to listeners, “Don’t bring your significant other. It’s about me, not about how great they are.”

Charissa Thompson has never been afraid to tell it like it is, especially when it comes to love and therapy. And, she has weighed in time and again on choosing a path that looks different from the fairytales we are sold as kids. After two marriages she now describes as rushed and misaligned (“I married the wrong people, plural”), she has turned her pain into perspective.

Additionally, with this, she has ditched the idea of a picture-perfect family for a life that actually fits. “I always thought I’d have three boys and a girl and a 45-year marriage like my parents—but none of that happened,” she admitted on ‘Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce’. Instead, she has now embraced vulnerability through therapy, learning to take accountability, and proudly choosing a child-free life. “I can get divorced, but I can’t walk away from a child,” she said. “It was the most rational decision I’ve made.”

That same honesty shines in her dating life today. After what she calls a “losing streak,” her NFL friends stepped in to set her up with current boyfriend Steve, who won hearts on FaceTime by showing up in a blazer, with candles and wine.

Charissa melted, and Erin swooned. And Steve’s nomination for boyfriend of the year was unofficially secured. “You’re just a real national treasure,” she told him. He responded, “I wanted to look nice for our date.” But, she won’t ever take him to therapy with him. Even when their therapy session together hilariously backfired, she has still found humor in it, and a lesson for us all.

Charissa Thompson’s guidebook to dating

Charissa Thompson hasn’t stopped herself from doling out dating advice like a seasoned coach. On Calm Down with Erin & Charissa, she is blunt, funny, and refreshingly direct. And, the basics of the dating playbook include: don’t be a passive texter, don’t play pen-pal, and for the love of all things decent, make a plan. “You’re the guy, you make the plan,” she declared, insisting that interest should be obvious, not decoded.

If the message thread is “too blue” (too many outgoing texts with little response), Charissa says that’s your sign to hit the brakes. “Ease off the gas pedal,” as she puts it. And if you’re still unsure, she asks us to remember, “I like a guy that is going to make it very obvious that he likes me.” There should be no guessing games or limbo, but the partners need to bring just clarity and confidence.

And, she has built the above advice through her personal experiences. However, one should not stop seeing the silver lining in bad situations. “A breakup is like a turnover… take the ball back.” And whether it’s a long-distance FaceTime date with Steve or a solo sweat session to clear her head, the core of her philosophy is self-care. “I feel like a better partner when I sweat.” And, even Erin has joked that Charissa has fully abandoned her for barn life.

For context, Charissa finds peace on her 75-acre property known as Ruby Ranch in Central California. “I watched Yellowstone, fell in love with a ranch renovation idea, and did it… I’m that chick,” she said earlier, tagging it as her “biggest project to date.” The ranch is also a hub for charitable work, with merchandise proceeds that support animal rescues and care. It is her personal step to self-care, so that she can balance her dating life better. Moreover, she also loves working out, calling it a “big self-care thing for me and for my brain.” She further added, “When I sweat, and the endorphins, and the adrenaline that I get from working out, that helps me. It gives me a clear head. I feel like a better partner in a relationship.” By maintaining these boundaries and rituals, Charissa Thompson is teaching us indeed how to pursue healthy relationships.