Two decades ago, Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson was setting NFL records for most rushing attempts in a single season. Now, his body is responding in the worst way possible to the years of constant hits that made his durability a signature in the league.

Johnson believes he has been suffering from Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) due to the immense physical toll that came with his successful NFL career. His concerns aren’t unfounded, just impossible to confirm while he is still alive.

According to an October 1 report by ESPN’s Stephen Holder, 46-year-old Johnson described a plethora of symptoms he experienced that convinced him of a potential CTE diagnosis.

“My short-term memory was so bad, I could literally go into a store and 30 minutes later come out and not know where my car is parked,” Johnson said. “Or, I’m driving and I just get blanked and I don’t even know where I’m going or know where I’m at.” 

But Johnson’s symptoms are not a recent development. The legendary running back first mentioned experiencing symptoms indicative of CTE  back in 2017.

“The other day I tried to open my car with my TV remote, and I don’t even know how I had the TV remote in my hand,” Johnson said during a 2017 interview with the BBC.

According to Mayo Clinic, cognitive impairment, including memory blanks, impulsive behavior, and mood swings, is often associated with the degenerative disease. Scientists believe CTE is the result of repeated head trauma rather than a single head injury, which is why it is often seen in people engaging in military combat and contact sports. Symptoms can appear years after the relentless trauma NFL players endure, and in most cases, continue to worsen over time.

Johnson first joined the league in 2003, selected by the Chiefs in the first round of the NFL Draft. He earned Pro Bowl selections in 2005 and 2006, and had over 1700 rushing yards both years.

In 2006, he set the league’s single-season record with 416 rushing attempts, with an average of 111.8 attempts per game, and 17 touchdowns. Across his seven years with Kansas, the running back recorded 1,526 touches, absorbing a massive number of tackles and hits. 

But those years of intense workload were followed by rapid physical decline. In the last two years of his career, spent with the Washington Redskins and the Miami Dolphins, Johnson played only three games in total, recording just six rushing attempts and four yards.

That decline also forms part of the context behind Johnson’s belief that he may have had CTЕ. However, his self-assessment cannot be confirmed during his lifetime, as CTE can only be definitively diagnosed after death through an examination of brain tissue. According to a 2023 study, 345 of 376 NFL players who underwent brain autopsies were posthumously diagnosed with CTE.

But CTE isn’t the only cognitive impairment NFL players are known to suffer from. Researchers have noted various other conditions whose symptoms overlap with CTE. But while CTE has no cure, other cognitive disorders might.

“Many of these conditions cause cognitive symptoms that may overlap with CTE, but the difference here is that they are treatable,” said Rachel Grashow, a Harvard University researcher. “And ignoring this reality has dire consequences. We know that having cognitive symptoms and these conditions puts players at a much higher risk for believing they have CTE, and at risk for frequent thoughts of self-harm.” 

Johnson Has Been Managing His Symptoms For Almost A Decade

What’s worse than knowing that he might have an incurable degenerative disease is the struggle of living with it. The former running back admitted he had no memory of two whole seasons, and his own biggest achievements in the league were no more than vague memories for him. 

In his early NFL career, Johnson was arrested six times between 2003 and 2014 on assault charges. He barely remembered those moments, describing how much worse it was for him.

“In 2010, it had me sitting in a room with a bottle of alcohol, not knowing what day it was or if I wanted to be here. It warps your brain into a reality that’s not your own.

“In that ball of confusion, you search out every toxic component you think is going to help you be a better person; it actually destroys you even more. At that point I was questioning my own mortality because I didn’t know where this had come from,” he further added.

Nevertheless, for now, Johnson has been doing all he can to remember and record precious memories that he wanted to share with his daughter, Jaylen.

“My daughter was born in 2010, and when she was two or three, I still suffered but kept it under control,” Johnson said in 2017. “I don’t want my daughter’s first memories to be of me being a struggling, broken human being with a brain degenerative disorder that can’t learn to love or learn to accept reality.”

He began making time capsules about his football career, filling the blanks in his memory with videos and photographs available on the internet. He also forced himself to rein in the violent impulses he was experiencing, using his daughter as an inspiration. 

Johnson has also been quite vocal about his belief regarding a possible CTE diagnosis and the effect the disease can have on players’ health to create awareness, both among sports medical professionals and league players.