When she was just three, Shawn Johnson East’s parents introduced her to gymnastics. 13 years later, Johnson East was in Beijing for the Olympics, representing Team USA. That’s where she became a household name, after claiming four medals at the competition, including a gold. But what was a cause for celebration for her country and her supporters was the start of desperation for Johnson East. For the first time in a long time, she did not have a reason to get out of bed.

After the competition, Shawn Johnson East decided to take a two-year hiatus. At 16, she wanted to discover more of herself, who she was outside of gymnastics. However, the challenges started when she had to decide how to live her days without the preparation. “I had never felt paralyzed like that before. Not understanding how to operate or function as a human being. I didn’t know what time to wake up. I didn’t know what to eat for breakfast. I didn’t know how to go about my day because I had no structure anymore;  I had no goal I was working towards,” she told Yahoo Canada.

Johnson East only knew how to train and compete from the time she fell under the tutelage of legendary trainer Liang Chow. Everything about her life revolved around meeting her potential as an artistic gymnast. In those two years when she decided to step away, Shawn Johnson East felt lost. Imagine waking up every day and feeling like you know nothing about yourself. She said the morning after winning the Olympic medal, “felt like [she] had run full speed into a brick wall.”

Shawn Johnson East only knew gymnastics. The sport defined her. The only tool she knew would give her comfort was gymnastics. So, after aimlessly spending two years on the sidelines, she decided to return.

“I got so lost that I ended up going back to gymnastics because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know how to find an identity elsewhere,” Johnson East added.

She began training again, eyeing the 2012 London Olympics as her return stage. However, along the way, she suffered a devastating ACL tear during a ski trip. Nothing was the same after that. Despite going through intense rehabilitation to start eyeing the Olympics again, Shawn Johnson East felt different. But she did go to the tournament, which actually led her to meeting the person who helped her navigate life beyond gymnastics.

The decision that changed Shawn Johnson East’s life

After her ACL injury, Johnson East dedicated herself to making her professional return. The first stop would be the 2011 Pan American Games. But after two years away, the former Olympic gold medalist had discovered the other side of life. She wasn’t chained up by gymnastics anymore. And although she loved competing, the time away from constantly thinking about winning drifted her senses.

“It wasn’t about injuries at the time, nothing. I just fell out of love with it. And I knew it was my time to say goodbye and let someone else take it. And I am glad I did because I met my husband. So, I retired right before the Olympic trials and ended up going as a correspondent to watch and work with the Today Show at the time for the 2012 games, which was great. And I didn’t feel like I was missing out.” Shawn Johnson East told Whistle Sports’ Maddy Kirchofer last June.

While working as a correspondent, Shawn Johnson East experienced life from the stands. She never felt like she was missing anything. Most importantly, it’s where she met her now husband, former NFL player Andrew East. He helped her navigate the phase of life where she explored her identity. In 2016, they tied the knot. Now, the pair has a YouTube channel with over a million subscribers, and they are raising three children together.