Brendan Schaub hasn’t walked into a UFC cage in nearly ten years, but the fighter in him occasionally emerges, usually when he’s behind a mic. On a recent episode of The Fighter and The Kid, things took a strange and slightly aggressive turn when the conversation drifted toward jiu-jitsu, old instincts, and hypothetical bouts. But this time, the target wasn’t a heavyweight contender. Instead, it was someone sitting right beside him.

It all started with Schaub’s 58-year-old co-host, Bryan Callen, speaking about his wrestling. He claimed that he was practicing harder than ever, correcting old mistakes. According to Callen, his elbows are no longer flared out, and his “wrestler’s mentality” is finally kicking in.

However, the amicable back-and-forth quickly got more chaotic and funnier as Schaub poked holes in the fantasy and fired back with his own. Schaub dropped the bombshell, revealing that if he were being granted just one wish, it would not be for glory, a title opportunity, or even a return battle. No, Schaub said he’d want Bryan Callen to be 30 again so he could “mollywop his face.”

He clarified that he still gives Callen “30%” out of respect for elders. Because if he went full throttle, Callen would be “going to the hospital.” He said, “Yeah. If someone was like, ‘Hey, Brendan, you get one wish,’ I’d go, ‘Make Bryan 30 years old.’ Yeah. So I can just mollywop his stupid f—– face the way I’ve always wanted to.” The comment was loaded with sarcasm, but it definitely had the rhythm of a classic post-fight jab.

However, what made the whole exchange even funnier is the irony of Schaub’s past. Just months ago, the ex-UFC heavyweight was considering a comeback, citing UFC’s Ciryl Gane as the ideal opponent due to his apparently lack of wrestling and jiu-jitsu. And yet, he was fixated on his 58-year-old pal, who was not a top-ranked fighter. Schaub’s long career may be over, but his fight fantasies? They’re still very much alive and getting more unhinged with age.

In the end, it was just podcast banter on the latest episode. No real sparring, no injuries, no broken noses, just two men riffing as usual. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that the fighter in Brendan Schaub hasn’t given up throwing verbal jabs. And clearly, Bryan Callen better keep those elbows tucked in… just in case. However, it is worth noting that this isn’t the first time that the former UFC fighter has picked up a bizarre opponent for a fantasy fight.

Brendan Schaub claims he would beat up UFC’s Zhang Weili

As bizarre as Schaub’s dream brawl with Bryan Callen was, it wasn’t his only strange matchup. During a recent Fight Companion live for UFC 312, he casually mentioned another strange possibility, this time involving UFC strawweight champion Zhang Weili. What began as a joke between Joe Rogan and Bryan Callen evolved into Schaub challenging a 115-pound champion from an alternate universe.

It all started when the JRE host joked that if the UFC Women’s Strawweight Champion made a move on Callen, she’d “kill” him. Brendan Schaub misheard Rogan talking about him and joined in with “I would beat the s— out of her, dude.” Rogan clarified that he wasn’t even talking to Schaub, then referred to him as a “gorilla,” dismissing the entire situation as typical Schaub energy.

Clearly, that was a joke, but it showed once again that Schaub can’t stop turning every conversation into a fight card. Whether retired or not, he appears to be prepared to fight anyone named in mid-sentence, even if they weigh 165 pounds less than him.