An electrifying floor routine turned Katelyn Ohashi into a viral sensation. Her fun, energetic and engaging performance made many fall in love with her and the sport. But it took a long time and a lot of work for Ohashi to genuinely put on that smile when she was on the mat. Before she started competing for UCLA, Ohashi had given up on elite gymnastics.

And it all boiled down to her experience growing up in a stereotypical high-level athletic world that ruined her self-image. The gymnast opened up about her experience with body-shaming and disordered eating, and how the toxicity affected her adolescence.

Katelyn Ohashi on body-shaming

Former UCLA gymnast Katelyn Ohashi started gymnastics at only 3 years old. But when she turned elite at the age of 12, things started taking a sour turn. The sport became less about her and more about what they expected of her, and the joy she felt while doing gymnastics began disappearing.

Eventually, she got sucked into the toxicity of the sport. Ohashi detailed how she was shamed for the size of her body and the rude comments that were hurled at her by her coaches and other people around her.

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“When I was 14, I started hearing comments about my weight: ‘You look like you swallowed an elephant.’ ‘You look like a pig.’ ‘Your face is three times the size it was this morning.’ ‘You remind me of a bird that’s too big to fly.’ People whose opinions I valued said this to me.” she told ESPN.

This treatment led Ohashi to have a terrible relationship with food. She was told to eat less and less with no explanation, and there was little room for question. Every other gymnast around her was doing the same thing. “My friends and I would try to eat 500 calories or less when we were training seven hours a day. At parties, we would go to the bathroom and try to vomit up the food,” she continued.

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Ohashi lost her drive to keep doing gymnastics

Ohashi was homeschooled so her parents’ expectations and her gymnastics career began defining her worth. Even though she had no energy from the lack of proper nutrition, they expected her to perform high-level routines for hours in practice. Where most athletes see injury as an obstacle in their way, Ohashi saw it as a way out.

Disordered eating is more rampant among female gymnasts than you’d expect. The notion that they need to maintain a thin and girlish figure to be competitive at the highest level is prevalent. So they take to starving themselves, and becoming anorexic, to avoid developing their body in a way that could negatively affect performance.

When Ohashi was 16, she started experiencing discomfort in her back. She got home after winning her first senior competition, the American Cup in 2013, and started crying. “My mom asked, ‘Aren’t you happy?’ I was like, ‘No, I’m broken.’ Mentally, physically, emotionally,” she revealed. A year later, she needed surgery for her shoulder and was barred from competing for at least two years.

“It was such a relief because I had been so miserable for so long. Since quitting wasn’t an option, I thought maybe this injury was my way out,” Ohashi explained. Eventually, she was able to regain her confidence and love for gymnastics when she got to UCLA. With support from her coach and teammates, Ohashi rebuilt herself as a gymnast.

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