“I know that this is very controversial, I understand why people are upset,” began Megan Rapinoe, “But I’m going to continue to talk about it.” These words from the USWNT icon highlight just how committed the forward was—not just as a player, but as an advocate for the social change she believed in. Forget her constant infamous feuds with President Donald Trump; even a majority of fans and pundits said some of the “craziest things” she’d ever heard. While Rapinoe often appeared ‘unfazed‘ by the backlash, few realize that deep down, she felt compelled to present herself as a “strong, confident person.”

Shocking, right? But come to think of it, one shouldn’t be. Sure, the two-time World Cup winner may have come across as bold in her off-pitch endeavors. Whether it was going head-to-head with Trump—even bluntly saying she wouldn’t go to the “f***ing White House” over the POTUS administration’s divisive policies—or kneeling in protest against police brutality and racial injustice, it was her outspoken and unapologetic leadership that made her past both storied and stormy.

It’s almost as if she had to wear a tarnished crown—earning fame, but also paying the price for it. Then again, one wonders what exactly helped the former OL Reign star move past all the criticism she received for her actions. “I think just my own growth, being in therapy, and understanding myself better,” began Rapinoe while speaking on the ReThinking with Adam Grant podcast alongside her partner  and WNBA icon Sue Bird.

Be it the bitter end to her USWNT career—having missed a crucial penalty against Sweden in the Round of 16 shootout—or facing public mockery from Donald Trump, who took to Twitter to slam both the team and Rapinoe personally with remarks like “WOKE EQUALS FAILURE” and “Nice shot Megan, the USA is going to Hell!!! MAGA”, the 39-year-old maintained that she “felt very unfazed by it,” though also admitted to a mixed feeling of “That can’t be right!”

“I was protecting myself from the federation, from the public, kneeling, President Trump, and all of it—almost like play-acting a really strong, confident person,” admitted the Redding, California native. Then again, it seems that when someone becomes a target for too long and faces constant backlash, it not only builds strength but also brings out a uniquely selfless side.

That’s because, fast forward to today, after looking back at everything that happened, Megan Rapinoe now recognizes how much of her strength came from trying to lead and protect her team—even if it meant bulldozing her own emotions in the process. And boy was it necessary to do so, even if the end result saw her become a sporting villain over a penalty miss—something which she is quite unapologetic about.

Megan Rapinoe opens up about her ‘tragic’ penalty kick

For someone who practiced spot kicks relentlessly, Megan Rapinoe was truly a natural. She even called them “free goals” and carried an attitude of, “What could possibly go wrong?” But fate had other plans. The former Chicago Red Stars forward ended up missing a crucial penalty in the Round of 16 against Sweden, contributing to Team USA’s 5-4 shootout loss and early World Cup exit.

Rapinoe reflects on the moment as one of two “dark and tragic” endings to her career—but she also emphasizes that even when you become the face of a failure, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. “We’re not saving anybody’s life here; we are playing sports,” she said, acknowledging it may not be the most important thing in life.

The 2019 Ballon d’Or winner believes there was something deeply meaningful about choosing the sport, being part of it, and giving it her all—both on and off the field or court. Well, in the end, that’s all it matters, doesn’t it? But talk about the difficult time ended up facing, taking blame for the entire nation’s defeat! Then again, we reckon it’s something that Megan Rapinoe finally seems to have moved on from!