Some Lakers rumors make sense. Others feel like fanfiction. But this latest one? Well, it might live somewhere in the middle… stirred up by a podcast, sprinkled with hypothetical trades, and then instantly torched with the phrase: “please don’t aggregate this.” And in the middle of this conversation? Kristaps Porzingis. Consider it luck, karma, or destiny, Porzingis can’t seem to dodge the spotlight these days.

But too late, Simmons. Because NBA Twitter doesn’t sleep, and neither do aggregation machines. On a recent episode of The Bill Simmons Podcast, Simmons and Ryen Russillo spitballed a “dumb” trade idea that had fans double-taking. Kristaps Porzingis in purple and gold? Austin Reaves off to Atlanta? The internet barely had time to breathe before the quote tweets started flying.

“Would you do a [Onyeka] Okongwu and some picks for Reaves? Would you have a meeting?” Simmons asked. Russillo didn’t shut it down. In fact, he leaned in: “Hey, we got Pzingis, and let’s keep our fingers crossed.” And just like that, a new Lakers fantasy trade entered the chat… one that seems to violate both basketball logic and Lakers fans’ emotional stability. But of course, like any credible and respected man, Simmons himself tried to duck responsibility.

“Please anyone listening, please don’t aggregate these trades… I’m just throwing dumb shit out.” But even he couldn’t resist cackling at the idea of holding back a Jaylen Brown trade for fear of headlines. And when it comes to Porzingis, the headline practically wrote itself. The idea of swapping Reaves—a beloved, productive combo guard and rising face of the franchise—for KP, a talent with major durability concerns, is the kind of gamble Lakers fans probably don’t want in the Rob Pelinka playbook. Especially now. Why?

Because according to ESPN’s Dave McMenamin, the Lakers are operating with long-game discipline. “Though Finney-Smith was a popular locker room figure and helped the Lakers to a 14-6 record in the 20 games he started in the regular season, L.A. exercised discipline in its negotiations to preserve cap space for 2027, when the team expects to have space to sign a max-salary free agent.” Translation?

Pelinka is playing chess, not checkers. Which makes the idea of rolling the dice on Porzingis’ health and burning through assets for a temporary fix feel even more far-fetched. And yet, Simmons made one fair point. “Reaves is a better player than Okongwu,” he noted, arguing that Reaves could thrive next to Trae Young as a second creator. Russillo nodded along, adding, “But it has to be one player that makes a huge difference.”

Kristaps Porzingis in L.A. is just a lot of fingers crossed

Porzingis, for all his skill, is one of the most polarizing names in the NBA. When healthy, he’s a floor-spacing, shot-blocking unicorn who can shift a playoff series. But when the health questions creep back in (and they often do), he becomes a $30M+ question mark. The idea of the Lakers, who already have Anthony Davis, taking on another high-risk big? That’s either bold or baffling. Then there’s Reaves.

He’s not just a fan favorite. He’s a known commodity who’s smart, tough, efficient, and improving each year that goes by. In a league starving for secondary playmakers and guards who can play on or off-ball, Reaves actually checks every box. Shipping him out for a Porzingis flyer? Even fantasy GMs are side-eyeing that idea. Because, well, who wouldn’t for basketball’s sake?! It also doesn’t fit the current trajectory of the Lakers’ offseason.

With LeBron back for sure, and the goal of opening max cap room in 2027, there’s zero incentive to take on long-term salary or jeopardize flexibility. Especially not for a move that feels this volatile. Still, the fact that it even came up speaks to where the Lakers are right now… trapped in a weird in-between phase. Good enough to compete, not quite elite, and facing big questions about how to bridge that gap without burning their future.

So yes, the Porzingis-to-LA proposal might be “dumb.” But it’s also a reflection of a team (and a fanbase) desperate for the next move to finally make sense. And if Rob Pelinka is serious about 2027, maybe the only unicorn he’s chasing… is patience.