Fatherhood is a tough task. For black fathers, especially, that responsibility is far greater. Given the stigma that has plagued everyone from Barack Obama to LeBron James, the journey is an arduous one. However, very few are as open about the struggles and challenges as Dwyane Wade. The Chicago native, now a father of 5, has been an open book with his journey into fatherhood. Whether it be ups or downs, he’s equally informative about both sides. But, he has a career to handle at the same time.

Explaining how those worlds find a balance, a rather unique, and often frowned upon word, takes center stage for the Miami Heat legend: selfish. “It’s challenging, especially if you have a job that’s demanding or if you have a career that’s demanding. So I think the best way that I’ve learned how to do that — and it is the hardest way — is to be a little bit more selfish. It’s like being selfish, and in the midst of being selfish, I’m able to give more.” 

While explaining his answer to Pop Sugar, Wade explains the importance of his choice of words. “When you think of “selfish,” that word has a negative [connotation], but it’s not. These things that we’re talking about, these are selfish acts of me. This is me getting up at 5-something in the morning and selfishly taking care of my mental health.” 

That ‘selfish’ space allows him to excel in any role, much like charging his cell phone. “I got to charge my phone at night so I can talk on it all day. For me to be able to give the energy I need, I got to charge [myself] up as much as I can. And so it’s important [to be] a little selfish. You can be more to others.”

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However, this isn’t the first time that the one-time Chicago Bull has had to be brutally honest about his tenure as a dad.

Dwyane Wade on the moment that changed his perspective on fatherhood

The situation arose when Zaya was coming out as transgender. During that time, the uncertainty led to a fear in her heart. One moment, in particular, would be the straw that broke the camel’s back for Wade.

As he recalls, a return home saw his daughter run away from him into Gabrielle Union’s arms. The fear he saw in Zaya is what led him to change his outlook on his role as a father. Further, as he reveals, it would lead to a complete shift in his philosophy.

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The role of a father has always been a tough one. As the beginning of the article mentioned, it is doubly so due to the stigma around being a black father. However, with proud, honest men like Dwyane Wade leading the charge, perhaps those notions can come to an end.

The journey that The Flash has been on is one to salute. But, like the role of a father, the job is never truly over. There is always more work to be done.

Years After Fear Drove Her to Stepmother’s Arms, 16YO Zaya’s $16.82 Billion Stint Receives Affirmation From Gabrielle Union