Dale Earnhardt Jr’s Sister Reveals Her Dad’s Unknown Side as They Struggled With Control

Dale Earnhardt Sr. was not only a NASCAR icon; he was a force of nature. Nicknamed “The Intimidator,” his seven Winston Cup championships and daredevil driving style made him an icon on the track. But to Dale Jr. and Kelley Earnhardt Miller, his children, he was a father whose dominant presence influenced their lives beyond the raceway. Raised in Kannapolis, North Carolina, the Earnhardt children lived in the shadow of a giant after things went south in the legendary racer’s marriage.

Following Dale Sr.’s divorce from their mother Brenda Gee in 1979, Kelley, age seven at the time, assumed a caretaker role for her two younger siblings, Dale Jr. and half-sister Kayla. Kelley was forced into adulthood at a young age with this responsibility as she coped with household chores while dealing with their autocratic father’s household. In a heart-wrenching yet side-splitting episode of Rubbin’ is Racing podcast, Kelley opened up about an emotional childhood memory showing how their father’s controlling behavior affected their attempts to establish their identities, and how Dale Jr.’s infamous haircuts became a sign of rebellion.

Kelley Earnhardt was her brother’s biggest cheerleader

Their children remember Dale Sr.’s rules as strict: he told them what to do, how to do it, and when it was to be done. As Kelley later reflected, this control wasn’t just discipline—it was a way of life that left little room for personal choice. For Dale Jr., who would later become a NASCAR star himself, this environment fueled a quiet need to assert his individuality. The podcast conversation took a nostalgic and revealing turn when the group dove into Dale Jr.’s early 2000s hairstyles—bleached blond, frosted tips, and looks that seemed to borrow from pop culture icons without fully committing.

Host Large couldn’t resist poking fun: “At any point, did you want to talk to him about his haircuts? Because there’s a lot of those on the show that I personally didn’t agree with, right? Because you never really committed to either the Justin Timberlake, Limp Bizkit, Eminem type thing. It seemed like you were caught in the middle there.” Kelley laughed, admitting, “No, I was probably a cheerleader for stuff like that.” Large fired back with a grin, “You did a terrible f—— job,” prompting laughter. But Kelley’s tone shifted as she explained: “You know why I think that was the case, because, you know, living with our dad, we were always told what we were going to do, how we were going to do it, when we were going to do it. And so for him to have that freedom of choice, I was a cheerleader for that. I was like, you go, guy.”

Those words hit like a thunderclap. Dale Jr.’s hairstyles, mocked by fans and even his wife Amy, who later quipped, “Any guy that frosted their hair was a little silly”. They were acts of defiance, small but significant ways to claim control in a life where their dad’s rules reigned supreme. USA Network lists Dale Jr.’s frosted tips among NASCAR’s most iconic hairstyles, a testament to how his look captured attention. But Kelley’s perspective adds depth: each dye job was a step toward freedom, a rebellion against the structure imposed by a father who was both a racing titan and a single parent trying to raise his kids right.

Dale Sr.’s controlling nature wasn’t rooted in cruelty. As Kelley and Dale Jr. explored in their documentary Dale, he was a man of his time, shaped by a hardscrabble upbringing and a belief in discipline. He poured that same precision into every facet of his life, from his race cars to his appearance. Dale Jr. once met Steve Ellsworth, his dad’s barber, and recalled how Dale Sr. obsessed over every detail, down to his haircut. That meticulousness extended to his parenting, often leaving his kids feeling like they had to fit into his mold. For Kelley, who now runs JR Motorsports as owner, those years were heavy. She balanced her role as a caretaker with unwavering support for Dale Jr., cheering his every attempt to break free, even if it meant endorsing his wild hair experiments.

The siblings’ bond shines through in their openness. Dale Earnhardt Jr., who inherited his dad’s charisma but carved his own path as a two-time Daytona 500 winner, credits Kelley’s support for helping him navigate their father’s shadow. Their podcast and film peel back the myth of Dale Sr., showing a man who loved his kids but struggled to give them room to breathe. NASCAR.com even playfully revisited Dale Jr.’s hairstyles, pairing them with modern drivers, but behind the laughs lies a story of resilience. But in 2020, it seemed like Junior’s hair was not in his control.

On April 11, 2020, Dale Jr. put up a before-and-after Facebook post. And, he did not go to any fancy salon or hire a professional hairstylist for this. Why? The caption read, “@mrsamyearnhardt got her clippers in the mail today. I feel so much better. 👍🏼” It was Amy who cut his hair with a clipper, yet it was much better than his past hilarious hairstyle. But the fact that Junior now has better hairstyles might be rooted in his being a team owner. The respect of an owner outweighs the coolness of a driver any day!

However, Kelley’s revelation on the podcast underscores a universal truth: even legends like Dale Sr. were human, and their children’s journeys—frosted tips and all—reflect a family finding their way through love, control, and the courage to be themselves.

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Dale Earnhardt Jr. takes Reddit criticism in his stride

Dale Earnhardt Jr., a NASCAR Hall of Famer, stepped away from full-time Cup Series racing in 2017 and joined NBC’s broadcast booth. After a year off in 2024, he’s back covering 10 summer races for Amazon Prime and TNT. On Friday at North Wilkesboro Speedway, Junior joined Kevin Harvick in FS1’s booth for the series’ national debut. But the North Wilkesboro broadcast was a wake-up call, which was marred by production woes.

On the Rubbin’ Is Racing podcast, he opened up about his transition from NBC to Amazon and Warner Bros. Discovery, emphasizing how fan feedback drives him. “Whoever is doing the races at the time, that’s the people that are going to get the criticism,” he said. “As soon as NBC would pick up the broadcast, everybody would go, ‘Man, I can’t wait until FOX is doing this again.’ It just kind of comes with the territory.” But Junior doesn’t shy away from it. “I like it because it drives me to be perfect,” he added. “I know I’m not going to be perfect, but it makes me want to do a really good job.”

Reddit, in particular, has become his trusted source for feedback. “One of the places I do trust criticism is Reddit,” he said on the podcast. “Reddit NASCAR, they have this way of being critical but also giving you the reasons why. It’s not just… they don’t just s— on you and leave. They say, ‘Hey man, this wasn’t good, and I wish they would do it this way, or I wish this would happen.’ The criticism is actually kind of helpful.” Unlike toxic comment sections on Instagram or X, Reddit’s thoughtful, unfiltered reviews resonate with him. “There’s no agenda there,” he told, “People just say what they think.” He actively seeks out feedback.

His openness to Reddit’s constructive critiques and resilience amid Fox’s production struggles show a man committed to growth. As Junior navigates his new yet familiar role, his humility and drive make him a broadcaster fans can’t help but root for.