Imagine a Thanksgiving dinner where your rival cousin always gets the drumstick, the comfy chair, and the remote. That’s Zac Taylor’s Cincinnati Bengals, stuck in a Groundhog Day loop of prime-time road games against the Ravens. For the fourth straight year, the NFL served Cincinnati a heaping plate of “Baltimore on a short week”—this time with a side of turkey and national scrutiny.

The Bengals’ schedule woes feel like watching the ’90s Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl: predictable heartbreak, same villain. Since 2019, Cincinnati is 3-13 straight up in AFC North road prime-time games. Lamar Jackson’s 10-1 record against them? Let’s just say it’s less a rivalry and more a recurring nightmare.

The NFL confirmed its 2025 schedule Wednesday, and Zac Taylor’s frustration boiled over. Cincinnati faces three prime-time road games, including a Thanksgiving showdown in Baltimore—their fourth straight Thursday night trip to M&T Bank Stadium. “We knew that the Bengals were going to be a little disappointed playing on the road on a short week in Baltimore yet again,” said NFL exec Mike North to Rich Eisen…

“We absolutely had schedules where that Baltimore-Cincy Thanksgiving game was in Cincinnati. This just happened to be the one that got to the commissioner’s desk and got his stamp of approval on it,” North added. The league’s rationale? Broadcast partners wanted fireworks. “NBC saying, “Wait a minute, ‘why did ESPN get Eagles-Packers?’” North added. “Hans [Schroeder] always says, ‘Focus on what you got, not what you didn’t get.’” For Taylor, it’s another helping of short-week road grits. Since 2021, Cincinnati has played seven prime-time divisional road games. Baltimore? Just one.

Cincinnati’s 2025 slate is a rollercoaster with no seatbelts:

• Weeks 1-2: Browns (away) and Jaguars (home). A chance to rewrite Taylor’s 1-13 career start record.

• Weeks 3-7: Five straight vs. 2024 playoff teams. Think Titanic meets Jaws.

• Thanksgiving: At Baltimore. Because tradition.

“It’s one thing to fight uphill of going to Baltimore in one of the toughest situations in the sport,” said The Athletic‘s beat writer Paul Dehner Jr. “But to never get a chance to return the favor is what irks the folks in Cincinnati.” The Ravens host Cincinnati in prime time again while visiting Paycor Stadium at 1 p.m.—a scheduling quirk Taylor would call as fair as a rigged carnival game.

Quick question: Will Burrow’s Bengals feast on doubters, or will this schedule be their Waterloo?

“Killer B’s” stretch could define season

Weeks 13-15 are a gauntlet even Rambo would dodge:

1. Thanksgiving at Ravens (Joe Burrow vs. Lamar Jackson, Round 12)

2. December in Buffalo (Josh Allen + snow = bad math)

3. Ravens Rematch (Because the NFL loves trilogies)

“Let’s make it four,” center Ted Karras shrugged about the Baltimore trips. “I’ve only seen it at night. It’s not just us. It will be rocking. It will be fun. I’m a football player. I play when I’m told to play. I’ve never played on Thanksgiving. That will be fun.” Meanwhile, Joe Burrow gets his wish—a holiday game—but he’ll face a team he’s 3-6 against.

Cincinnati’s 2025 hopes hinge on two things: surviving September and conquering December. Their final four games include three at home, a gift-wrapped chance to mimic the 2021 playoff surge. But first, they must navigate a minefield. As Mark Twain once said, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it often rhymes.” For Zac Taylor, the question isn’t whether his team can dance to the NFL’s tune—it’s whether they can rewrite the lyrics.

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, Cincy? (Dirty Harry, 1971)