It almost happened. For three straight months in 2024, Miami fans had one hand on the playoff invite and the other on a cafecito, already planning their trip to the natty. Then BOOM—like the ghost of that cursed Orange Bowl rose up and slapped the momentum out of The U. A 21-point meltdown at Syracuse? A 3-loss collapse in 4 games? Just like that, Mario Cristobal’s playoff dreams evaporated like steam off Biscayne. And now? Danny Kanell thinks it’s going to get even worse in 2025.

But not so fast, chief. Leave it to Danny Kanell—FSU’s chaos agent in a CBS polo—to pull up to the Cover Three Podcast and drop a bomb with zero warning. While the crew tossed around spicy offseason takes, Kanell cranked the Scoville scale to ghost pepper levels, declaring something like, “There’s a pretty good chance Miami goes below .500 this season.” Say what now?

Even his co-hosts sounded stunned. Nobody saw it coming, and let’s be honest, that take was more about triggering Canes Twitter than making football sense. On May 14th, FSU insider Brian Smith hopped onto the Locked in Seminoles podcast and low-key rejected his former FSU QB’s take. “Danny likes to poke and prod, and this is the offseason. We all have a little fun with some different things, and podcasts and projections are absolutely fair game. Nothing against Danny, but A) I disagree, and B) what did he have to gain by it? I’m just curious—what was the prediction there… Is he just trying to get their fanbase riled up?”

Yeah, probably. Kanell’s been doing this long enough to know how to stir the pot, especially with Hurricanes fans who still haven’t forgiven him for the ’96 Orange Bowl trauma. Kanell was absolutely rage-baiting the Hurricanes fans. Many fans were calling for Danny’s head.

Here’s the thing—Kanell might be selling that Miami-falls-apart fantasy, but the folks in Vegas are not. The Hurricanes’ over/under win total is set at 8.5 with a juicy -188 line, tied for second-highest in the ACC behind Clemson (9.5). Translation? Vegas expects Miami to be in the mix. Not tanking. Not dragging. And definitely not going 5–7 or -500.

Sure, the roster took a hit. Cam Ward—first overall pick and unofficial god of Coral Gables—is gone. So are Damián Martínez, Xavier Restrepo, Jacolby George, and the best kicker in college football, Andres Borregales. That offense? It got gutted harder than a mahi-mahi on a Key West pier. But Mario Cristobal wasn’t sitting on his hands. He went portal diving with no floaties and came up with an elite squad.

Miami Hurricanes: Pretender or contender?

Let’s get one thing clear: Miami did not lose Cam Ward and call it a day. Mario Cristobal backed up the Brinks truck and dropped $4M on Carson Beck, Georgia’s ex-gunslinger with Natty experience. Yeah, he’s fresh off a UCL tweak from the SEC title game and 12 picks, but if he’s healthy and reduces the turnover by half? He’s probably the best QB in the ACC. Don’t hate.

Beck will be operating behind one of the meanest offensive lines in the country. All-American Francis Mauigoa returns to set the tone, flanked by James Brockermeyer from TCU—an anchor at center. The run game? Straight-up filthy. Mark Fletcher Jr. and Jordan Lyle could end up the most slept-on duo in the country. They low-key pulled the best running back in the portal. Chramar Brown, the FCS baller who dropped 15 touchdowns and over 1K yards last season. That boy’s hungry.

While Miami’s offense is getting all the shine, the defense low-key might be the real story. Cristobal brought in Corey Hetherman, the magician who took Minnesota’s 69th-ranked scoring defense and turned it into a top-10 monster in one year. Yeah, one year.

Under Hetherman, the Gophers gave up just 16.9 points per game in 2024 and ranked 5th in total defense, top 12 vs the run and pass, and racked up 22 picks. That’s certified lockdown behavior. Now he’s in South Florida with Rueben Bain Jr. and Akheem Mesidor wrecking shop up front, and new blood in the secondary like Charles Brantley (Michigan State) and Xavier Lucas (Wisconsin) patrolling the skies.

So, no, this defense isn’t getting pushed around in 2025. They’re about to feast. Let’s be real for a second. Even if you’re a diehard Nole (hi, Danny), saying Miami’s more likely to go 5–7 than 9–3 is wildly disrespectful. Like, let’s just look at the damn schedule. The Canes open up at home vs. Notre Dame on Labor Day—a certified tone-setter. They play around eight games at Hard Rock, including soft serves like South Florida State, B-CU, and NC State. You really think they’re losing seven games with that lineup?

And let’s not forget, this team started 9–0 last season and was top 4 in the CFP rankings before the wheels fell off. That collapse was real, no doubt. But that kind of pain usually fuels a nasty bounce-back, and Mario Cristobal’s roster this time around looks deeper and more balanced. Look, Danny Kanell was rage-baiting, but if the Miami Hurricanes miss the playoff and fumble the season like they did last year, then that’s a dub for Danny Kanell and the entire FSU nation.