Let’s cut through the noise like a Lamar Jackson scramble. Joe Flacco, 39, is back in Cleveland on a one-year, $4M deal (up to $13M with incentives), fresh off a 2023 CPOY resurgence where he threw 939 yards in his first three starts. But let’s keep it a buck—Flacco’s resume reads like a Greatest Hits album: 45,697 career yards, 257 TDs, and a Mile High Miracle legacy. Yet, as Ted Lasso once said, ‘The past is a funny old thing, isn’t it? It’s just a story we tell ourselves.’ And Kevin Stefanski’s story might need a plot twist.

“We know what Joe Flacco is. We know what Kenny Pickett is. … I think for the Cleveland Browns, the priority should be trying to find out if one of these two rookie quarterbacks could be your long-term solution,” ESPN analyst Damien Woody recently declared, tossing a Molotov cocktail into the Dawg Pound’s offseason chatter. Translation: It’s time for Kevin Stefanski to stop flirting with nostalgia and start swiping right on the future.

Enter rookies Shedeur Sanders (5th round, pick 144) and Dillon Gabriel (3rd round, pick 94)—two greenhorns with more swagger than a Baker Mayfield Progressive commercial. Sanders, a college stats phenom (14,327 yards, 134 TDs), slid in the draft like Tom Brady 2.0, while Gabriel brings dual-threat dynamism. “Both these guys have a really great opportunity to really try to establish themselves, this year and this year only,” Woody added. Translation: The clock’s ticking louder than a playcall headset with dead batteries.

The Browns’ QB room? A reality show waiting to happen. Flacco’s the grizzled vet with a ring, Kenny Pickett’s fighting for his career (4,765 yards, 15 TDs in three seasons), and Sanders is the wildcard with a golden arm and a chip the size of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Stefanski’s promised an ‘open competition,’ but let’s be real—this isn’t American Idol. Cleveland’s QB1 needs to survive the AFC North, where defenses hit like Kong come alive.

But here’s the rub: Flacco’s incentives ($75k per win, $2M for a Super Bowl) scream ‘win-now,’ while the rookies rep a rebuild. It’s Sophie’s Choice with a playbook. Do the Browns ride Flacco’s arm (61.7% completion, 84.4 passer rating in 2024) like a trusty Cadillac, or gamble on the rookies’ unproven horsepower? Stefanski’s decision could define Cleveland’s decade—no pressure, Kev.

Shedeur Sanders’ Super Bowl pipe dream… or Stefanski prophecy?

Shedeur Sanders isn’t here to play backup. At John Marshall High School, the kid looked Cleveland in the eye and dropped a line smoother than a play-action fake: “I’m trying to bring Cleveland, of course, a Super Bowl.” Bold? Absolutely. Delusional? Maybe not. This is the same dude who posted a 70.1% college completion rate and a 3.9 GPA—calculating blitzes and binomials.

But let’s pump the brakes. Sanders wasn’t drafted to start; he was a fifth-round flyer. Yet, history’s littered with underdogs—think Tom Brady, Brock Purdy, Kurt Warner bagging groceries. Sanders’ swagger mirrors Ted Lasso optimism. ‘Believe!’ isn’t just a sign in the locker room; it’s a rookie QB’s battle cry.

Yet, Sanders’ confidence is kryptonite to doubt. He’s got the receipts (2024 Johnny Unitas Award) and the DNA (Deion’s kid, after all). If Stefanski rolls the dice, Sanders could turn the Dawg Pound into believers faster than Flacco’s 70-yard bombs. But if not? Well, Cleveland’s used to heartbreak—it’s practically a civic tradition.

Cleveland’s QB saga isn’t just football—it’s a sonnet of hope and rustbelt resilience. Flacco’s last dance, Sanders’ first step, and a city craving glory like a drought-stricken lake craves rain. In the middle of it, Dillon Gabriel with virtually zero weight of expectation on his shoulders. As the summer sun bakes training camp, Stefanski holds the pen. Will he write a ballad of rebirth or a eulogy for what-ifs? One thing’s certain: In Cleveland, every snap’s a stanza, every drive a verse. And maybe, just maybe, this chapter ends with confetti.